Page 36 of Rules of the Heart

“I got a very concerned call from one of your nurses, saying she thought you were going into shock. Apparently, you weren’t responding to visual or auditory cues.”

Crap. “I’m sorry. I guess I was just distracted.”

“With what?”

“Just work stuff.”

“Bullshit, Valerie. Whatever it is, you’d better spill it. Did something happen with your baby surgeon with the big ocean eyes?”

Valerie’s eyes widened in shock. She hadn’t told anyone about her and Ella.

“What? What makes you think—?”

“Please. You practically get hearts in your eyes when you talk about her.”

Lily had known her a long time and she clearly knew her very well.

“I do not!”

“Yeah, you do. So, it’s about Ocean Eyes, then?”

Valerie sighed. Maybe she did need to talk to someone, and Lily was her closest friend—apart from Ella. Were she and Ella even friends anymore?

“Ella broke things off.”

“What? Why?”

“Um… she asked me on a date, and I turned her down. She left in a hurry and texted me shortly afterward. Whatever was happening, it’s over between us.”

“You turned her down? Hot young Ocean Eyes? What’s wrong with you, Valerie? You’re clearly head over heels for that woman! It has been obvious for weeks. The whole hospital knows. Go on a date with her, for goodness sake!”

“I can’t. It’s against the rules.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“It is not a lie! I can get you a copy of the hospital policy right now. It says in paragraph thirteen—”

“I’m not talking about the stupid hospital policy, Valerie. I’m talking about the fact that it’s not the reason you don’t want to date Ella.”

“Of course that’s the reason I don’t want to date Ella. Why else wouldn’t I want to? Ella is an amazing person. Anyone would be privileged to date her.”

“Oh, I know. Ella Ocean Eyes is super hot stuff. She’s not the problem. You are.”

“Really. Why don’t you enlighten me, then.”

“You’ve let this job mess with your head, Valerie. You’ve become jaded. All surgeons see more than their fair share of death. You’ve had more hearts stop in your hands than I could even begin to count. If you let yourself truly embrace everything you and Ella could be, she will die.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Probably not anytime in the near future, but sooner or later, Ella will die, and she will leave those who love her heartbroken. You don’t want to be one of those people. That’s why you’ve really avoided relationships all these years. You fix hearts for a living, but you’re afraid that yours will be broken irreparably.”

Valerie opened her mouth to tell Lily that she was wrong, and then closed it again. Was she really wrong? Valerie imagined what would happen if Ella went to work at another hospital, where the rules against dating wouldn’t apply to them. What would she do then?

Well, if Ella was at another hospital, their schedules probably wouldn’t even match up. Dating would be impossible and— well, then there was the age gap… and … and Valerie was just making excuses. Crap. Maybe Lily was right. Perhaps she would have taken any excuse not to date—not to put her heart on the line.

“You may have a point.”

“I know I do.”