Page 28 of Rules of the Heart

“Not now. Please come back later.”

Ella hesitated. Valerie didn’t sound good. Was she crying? Should Ella leave or should she check on Valerie to make sure she was okay?

The urge to check on her won out. She stepped into the office, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Valerie?”

Valerie was sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. She looked up to reveal that she was indeed crying. “Go away, Ella.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ella came around the desk, pulling up a chair to sit beside Valerie. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not. You may as well just tell me, because I’m not leaving until I’m sure you’re okay.”

“Why do you have to be stubborn?”

“Because I care about you, Valerie. You can talk to me.”

Valerie sighed. “It’s… His name is Tommy.WasTommy. He was only seven. I’ve been trying to save him since he was a toddler. He had so many surgeries. I’ve seldom seen cardiomyopathy that bad, let alone in a child. I fought tooth and nail to save him, but in the end, it was all for naught. He died on my table an hour ago.”

“Oh, Valerie, I’m so sorry.”

Tears fell thick and fast from Valerie’s eyes even as she tried to swipe them away. “I should be stronger than this. Patients die. It happens.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be heartbroken by it.”

Valerie let out a strangled sob. Ella pulled Valerie’s head onto her shoulder, rubbing her back as Valerie cried. It was so uncharacteristic to see Valerie break down like this. This vulnerability was a side of her that Ella hadn’t seen before.

Of course, she had known that Valerie must have had her bad days and her struggles, but she was honored that Valerie felt comfortable enough to share it with her. Valerie could have kicked Ella out of her office. A few weeks ago, she simply would have called security should Ella have refused to leave.

Valerie’s tears eventually slowed and she pulled back, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry. That was unprofessional. I’m your boss—”

“You’re my friend as well, Valerie. Being a shoulder to cry on is part of what friends do. There’s no rule against that,” Ella added with a smile.

That got a small smile out of Valerie. “No, I suppose there isn’t. Thank you, Ella.”

Valerie took Ella by complete surprise by leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. By the shocked expression on her face, it looked like Valerie had taken herself by surprise too. Ella wanted to kiss her until Valerie forgot all of her sorrows, but she didn’t want to take advantage of Valerie while she was feeling vulnerable, so she resisted.

Instead, she asked the question that had been rolling around in her head for a while now. “Would you like to come out with me?”

Valerie tensed. “We go out all the time, Ella.”

The last week notwithstanding, though neither of them mentioned that.

“That’s not what I mean. I meant come out with me on a date.”

Ella could practically see the shutters closing behind Valerie’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Ella, but that’s against hospital policy.”

Ella wanted to protest—Valerie was the one who wrote the policy, for fuck’s sake—but Valerie was still looking tearful and Ella knew that though she had stopped crying, Tommy’s death was still on her mind.

“Okay, Valerie. I’ll see you later, then.” Ella got up and left. She went into the stairwell and kicked the railing, trying to relieve her feelings.

It would be one thing if Valerie didn’t want to go out with her. That, Ella could accept. But Valerie was turning her down based on a stupidrule?Ella had to admit, she was pissed that Valerie would turn away from their obvious connection for such a minor reason.

After all, it was hardly like other hospital employees didn’t have relationships under the radar. Ella supposed that it would be a little different for Valerie, being the boss, but who’s to say she couldn’t change her policy?

Ella cared about Valerie a lot, but her blind adherence to rules drove Ella crazy. She understood that Valerie had some trauma around rules, but had she never heard of working through trauma? She could go to therapy rather than try to hold everyone else to her ridiculous standards.

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