Page 61 of Chase

“Pussy,” he grins, but then nods to let poor Jaime come back in.

Chapter 21

Izzy

It’s dark by the time we get back home and Stella is jumping all over us the moment we step through the door. I feel so guilty for leaving her, though it can only have been for about an hour. Besides, we make up for it by sharing our dinner with her and vowing to take her on extra-long walks over the weekend. Theo tucks into the takeaway pizza with as much enthusiasm as the dog, however, I find myself not being hungry. Instead, I sit at the table pondering over everything that’s come to pass, including what Will said to me earlier.

“This is probably a stupid question, given everything that’s happened, but are you ok?” Theo eventually asks, placing his hand over mine.

“No,” I utter quietly, “I’ve not been ok for a long time, but I think…I think I want to tell you why, Theo.”

I take a chance and look up to see his expression change into one of shock. He’s been waiting a long time for me to confide in him, but he doesn’t realize how hard it is for me to do this.

“Does it have something to do with what Will’s sister saidat the hospital?” he asks, his frown appearing almost instantly.

I try to think what he’s talking about, but when I realize it’s about what happened at school, I smile sadly and shake my head. Iwishthat was all of it.

“My darling sister, Tilly, had taken a photo of us when she caught us in bed that morning, before everyone else arrived and everything kicked off,” I explain, smiling over the memory, otherwise I’ll cry. “It looked very suspicious; you were topless, and I was in just my bra and knickers. We were holding on to one another under the sheets. She sent it to virtually everyone at school. The Monday after you left, I walked into school to find poster sized pictures of that photograph up and down the hallways. My locker was filled with condom packets and the word ‘whore’ sprayed across it. Even when I went to the bathroom, there were messages written on the walls about me being an easy lay.”

“Fuck!” Theo mutters, unable to look me in the eye.

“Not only that, but Tilly had written my actual phone number underneath the photograph, so I became inundated with perverted phone calls. Disgusting text messages were sent on an hourly basis for weeks. In the end, I had to ditch the phone. I didn’t need it, anyway, seeing as I no longer had any friends. No one wanted to be seen with the school’s number one outcast. And those who didn’t care, were warned to keep away from me by their parents. I felt diseased every day, dirty for something that I also took comfort from because it was the last time that I had had someone touch me with affection. I dreamed you would come in and save me, like a little girl waiting for her prince to come.”

Laughing mirthlessly, I look up to see every muscle in his body tense up with pure rage. As the first tear falls, realizing this isn’t the half of it, he grabs hold of the salt shaker and squeezes itwith such venom, I think he’s picturing it as Tilly’s throat. He then jumps from his chair, causing it to topple over, and throws the shaker at the wall. Stella whimpers and hides behind me all the while Theo paces up and down in anger. I let him for a few minutes because it’s an anger I know all too well.

After a few moments, he swings down in front of me, looks up into my eyes, then pulls me into a tight, all-encompassing hug.

“I’m sorry, Iz, so sorry” he muffles into my lap before looking back up at me again. “I didn’t mean to…I didn’t know… I never thought I was going to leave you to that kind of shit! What the hell did the school do? What did your parents do?”

“I should think you already know the answer to those questions,” I sigh. “The school cleared up the poster, then made me go and see a counselor who lectured me about sex safety. Tilly had to say sorry but that was about it; it was all swept under the carpet. As soon as she got me alone, she told me she wasn’t sorry at all, I deserved it. When that shitstorm finally blew over, she would torment me by showing me pictures of you from your social media account, particularly if you were with a girl.”

“Fuck,” he sighs again, then looks to the floor before releasing a noise akin to an angry roar.

“Theo, this isn’t the thing I was afraid to tell you,” I warn him, “and I need you to get a grip if I’m going to tell you the worst part of it.”

He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply before letting it out again. He then takes my hand inside of his and kisses my fingertips, seemingly trying to calm down.

“I promise, I will keep it together, “ he says with a long exhale. “You can tell me…anything.”

“I can’ttellyou, Theo, I’m not that strong” I try to explain. “I can’t even admit it to myself out loud, but Will suggested I write it down. It may take me a little while to put what happened to me into words, but I think it’s the only way I can do this.”

“Does Will know?”

“No one knows,” I tell him truthfully, “but I want to tell you…onlyyou. I love you so much, Theo,” I sob, “I always have and always will. But I’m so scared this will frighten you away,” I tell him as I cup his cheek.

“Oh, baby, no,” he says, clutching me close to his chest where I hear his heart thumping away at such a speed, I can tell he’s still full of rage. It only has me crying harder, knowing how much more there is to tell him. “Nothing could frighten me away from you. You know how much you mean to me. You’re the love of my life!”

As we make love right that night, he whispers reassurances of his love for me and how he will never let anyone hurt me ever again. I want to believe him, but trauma has taught me to never trust that I will be safe, to always keep my guard up, and to watch out for the shadows that seek to tear you apart.

“This is it for us now, Izzy,” he says as I feel the powerful sensation of an orgasm beginning to build inside of me, “you and me, baby, so let go.”

“Will you show me like this every day?”

“Fuck, yes, always.”

He shudders as I climax with him, and then we fall into one another’s arms, panting with satisfaction.

“Finally,” he says with a huge grin on his face.

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