Page 77 of The Devil

“You’re right, we were close, so close, and we went through everything with Dad and Mom, so when you let that guy get away with what he did to you and me, I felt like I didn’t know who you were anymore. By the time I began to get over it, you’d gone, Helena; the girl who was my little sister was gone. I have mourned the loss of my little sister every day since the moment we found that scumbag feeling up Amanda on our childhood couch.”

“Then why didn’t you fight to find me again?” I whimper. I’ve been holding this in for years and now I can’t stop.

“What do you want me to say, Helena? That I’m an awful person? The worst big brother in the world?”

“I wanted you toseeme, to rescue me,” I shout through my tears. “You have always galloped in to rescue people, even though half the time they didn’t want you to, but the one person who was desperate for you to rescue her, you turned your back on.”

“Helena,” he whispers, now with tears in his eyes too. A few moments pass before he lunges for me so we can hold onto one another for support. “I am so sorry, I just…I fucked up! I should have fought harder to stop you from marrying him, I should have stepped in when I saw how lost you were, and I should have gotten over myself when he betrayed both of us. Helena, I.Am.Sorry.”

Just as I have been waiting years for Lucius to finally admit his love for me, I have also been waiting years for my big brother, my once-upon-a-time best friend, to recognize how unfair he was on me. To admit that he condemned me when he should have been trying to save me. And now I have a choice - do I hold onto my anger? Or do I forgive and forget?

“I hope you know that I never sided with anyone over you, Cameron,” I sigh while hidden inside of his arms. “I had to do what I thought was best for Jess. Evan is the father of my child and at the time, I thought she would need him. It was never about taking sides for me.”

He pulls back and takes hold of my hands with an expression of extreme sorrow and guilt. His apology is genuine, albeit a little late.

“I mean it, I’m so sorry, Helena,” he says quietly, “and I understand if you can never forgive me. Though, I wish you would. Seeing you as the woman you used to be, I’d give anything to have you back in my life. Even if I’m the one who has been stubbornly pushing you away.”

“I’m willing to forgive you, Cameron, but it will take a while to trust that you’ll be there for me no matter what.”

To be honest, had he known the full story and still treated me as he did, there would be no forgiveness. But he’s not the only stubborn Carter in the family; I have, and still do, refuse to air everything out in the open. I just want to forget and move on. Evan has beenmypain,myexperience, so it’s my choice to leave him in the past.

“I understand, but know I am going to fight to earn back that trust,” he says, “fight as I should have from the very beginning.”

We pull back and smile uncomfortably at one another. The door creaks open, and Lucius is standing there, waiting for me. I smile, knowing that I should be thankful for the privacy he did manage to give me. Backing off must have taken a lot of willpower on his part.

“We good here?” he asks, looking directly at me.

“That depends,” Cameron says, smiling at me with reassurance before turning to face Lucius head-on. “Are you serious about my sister?”

“I have always been serious about your sister,” he says with determination in his voice before looking at me with a shy smile. “I was just a little young and stupid before.”

He walks over to claim me back by putting his arm around my shoulders in a protective manner, making me feel safe.

“Glad to see you have some clothes on,” Cameron says. “Where’s my wife? Haven’t scared her off have you, Hastings?”

“I’m not sure the Hun army could scare that one off; I’m impressed, Carter. Your taste in women is infinitely more sophisticated than it once was.”

For a moment, it almost looks like they smile at one another, which stupidly makes me feel warm on the inside.

“Think we better leave them to it,” Lily says when she suddenly appears from out of nowhere and wiggles her eyebrows at me. “Come on, lover!” she calls over to Cameron and he practically starts salivating before following her out like a little puppy.

When they leave, Lucius looks at me in such a way, I tense up and brace myself for what he’s about to say.

“I want to see,” he says, “I want to see all the places he has marked you.”

“Why?” I utter with sadness and humiliation. “What possible good will that do apart from reminding you that I am damaged goods?”

“Don’t you fucking dare say that!” he snaps. “I want to know what I’m up against because when I meet that motherfucker, he’s going to pay for every time he hurt you.”

“Lucius, please, don’t try and seek retribution,” I beg. “I don’t want anything to happen to you; I’ve only just got you back.”

“Topolina,” he sighs, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, “I have a reputation for more than just being a good lawyer. You don’t have to worry about me in that department.”

He kisses me gently on my forehead and I worry about what he has planned. Though, perhaps it’s best if I don’t know.

Chapter 31

Helena

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