Page 64 of The Devil

“Give me that pen,” she says, jutting her chin out toward the biro in front of me. I hand it to her and watch as she writes it down, but before she parts with the small piece of paper, she pauses. “You have to tread carefully, Lucius. For instance, I would wait until Saturday afternoon to go and see her.”

“Why the fuck would I want to do that?” I’m planning on going straight to her after Merial leaves.

“Because she has an eleven-year-old daughter! You can’t go barging in on Helena with Jess there to witness it all; that poor little girl has already had to go through so much, they both have. Helena won’t appreciate it; Jess is the only person she really comes alive for, and you have to respect that.”

“So, what do you suggest?” I growl impatiently.

“Jess leaves for camp after lunch on Saturday,” she informs me, “I think Helena’s more likely to accept you if Jess isn’t there.”

I open my mouth to argue before realizing that she’s right. I’ve waited this long, what’re a few more days? Given the information I’ve just received, it feels like a fucking lifetime. However, for my topolina, I’ll wait.

Chapter 26

Helena

“Hey, Hels,” Nate utters as he tentatively wanders into my room. I guess the banging and crashing I just heard was real, not just my mind playing tricks on me while under the influence of migraine medication. There had been shouting too, but I was still a little out of it, so I wasn’t entirely convinced I hadn’t dreamed it. Given his concerned, apologetic expression, I’m guessing there really were raised voices. I’m also guessing my little brother was the source of whatever explosion just happened in my very own house.

“It’s ok, Jess is fine,” he rushes out when he sees my fear. “It’s just me who’s fucked up.”

As he gets closer, I can see him almost hobbling a little bit, so I move over to let him climb in next to me, just like he used to when we were really young. Nate used to be afraid of thunderstorms and would always come into my room because Cam would instantly kick him out if he tried to get in with him. Thankfully, Cam is a little more caring toward Nate, now that he’s grown up, even if you have to wade through his brash swearing to see it. It’s just me he’s not so keen on. I miss him, I really do.

“What have you done now, little brother?” I ask as I lay my head on his lap. He begins brushing my hair with his hand, soothing the lingering headache that’s still preventing me from getting up.

“I, er, kind of went mental at Bea again.” He laughs softly, but I can tell he’s not at all happy about it. “The truth is, Hels,” he begins, then releases a long, sad sigh before continuing. “A few years back, she had a one-night stand, and it turns out it was with Evan. From what her big brother just yelled at me, it wasn’t what I’d call consensual; the bastard took advantage.”

“Oh, God!” I groan, shutting my eyes with the residual pain leftover from my migraine.

“Yeah, it turns out she was going through some shit at the time and came to one of my high school parties. She’d drunk far too much; he took her under his sleazy wing and she ended up coming to with him on top of her. Her brother just told me she tried to kill herself afterward.”

“Holy shit!” I bounce up in shock but quickly fall back onto his lap again with the pain in my head pulsing through me.

I’m well aware of how evil my ex-husband can be, but I never thought he took it out on anyone else but me.

The night of Nate’s party

11 years ago

Helena

“You’re a useless mother and an even worse wife, Helena,” Evan grinds through his teeth in between slurps of his beer.

I ignore his temper and begin to pick up pieces of broken plate and coq au vin off the floor. My Mom had shown me how to make it because apparently, I wasn’t feeding my husband properly, or so said his mother. He took great pleasure in telling me how awful his mother thought I was and how I could stand to lose a little weight. A year is plenty of time to lose excess baby weight and I was just being lazy, he had yelled at me. I didn’t bother telling him that I now weighed less than I did before Jess, what was the point? I was fat and unattractive according to both him and his mother.

“Don’t fucking ignore me!” he suddenly yells and pulls me up by my ponytail. It rips at the back of my head but as much as I want to yelp, I hold it in because experience has taught me to keep quiet for an easier life. However, this plan doesn’t always work, tonight being such an occasion, because I am backhanded for not responding to him in the way he wanted me to. “Now look what you made me do!”

“Please, Evan, please just leave me alone,” I whisper without any emotion behind my words. In my head, I’ve gone somewhere else, somewhere he can’t get me.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he sneers. “Then you can play the martyr, the victim. I’ve tried everything to get you to love me; I always come home, don’t I? Not that you want me here.”

“Evan, you’re hurting me,” I tell him, for he’s still pulling my hair, not to mention I can feel my cheek burning under the sting of his handprint.

“Yeah? Well, now you know what it feels like to have someone you love hurt you in the most brutal way. Your bruises will heal, darling, your betrayal won’t!”

“I never betrayed you, Evan,” I try to argue, though it comes out weak, as though I can’t be bothered to convince him otherwise. Idon’tcare anymore.

“Then why the fuck did I have to do a DNA test to prove our daughter is mine?”

His voice has risen to the point that I brace myself for another attack. However, when I make no effort to answer him, he simply pushes me and storms off, slamming the door as he does so. Jess begins crying so I wipe away my tears and rush upstairs to try and soothe her back to sleep.

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