Page 38 of The Devil

I don’t even have the words caught in my throat; I am utterly speechless. Even Cam is shaking his head in disbelief, all the while Evan laughs and pulls me in closer against him. Suddenly, I can’t wait for Spain to be here now, if only so I can breathe again.

In the middle of the night, I wake up with that tell-tale feeling of a migraine coming on, so I walk downstairs to get some water and find my tablets. I haven’t had one of these bad boys all month, but after last night, I’m not overly surprised. It’s not helped by Cam scaring the bejesus out of me when he seemingly appears out of nowhere. He’s literally been sitting in the dark, so when I switch the kitchen light on, he’s suddenly there, scrunching up his eyes and putting his hand up to block out the light.

“Holy shit, Cameron! What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark?” I cry out as I try to catch hold of my breath again.

“I get some of my best ideas in the dark,” he says, grinning over the fact that he’s scared the crap out of me. “What are you doing up?”

“Migraine coming on,” I explain, pointing to my head just to make it extra clear, like an idiot.

He nods in understanding, being more than used to me getting them. After I’ve grabbed some water, I sit on the chair next to him and take my pills. It’s then that I notice him looking at me strangely.

“What?”

“You don’t like him, do you?” he says with a small smirk. “You’re trying, I’ll give you that, but the guy does nothing for you, does he?”

I begin twirling the glass around on the table, unable to meet his eyes, which always manage to see right through me. I guess this is what has always made us close; I can never hide anything from him. He can read me like a book. But I know I can always go to my big brother and he’ll have my back. I couldn’t ask for anyone better to be my sibling.

“Is it that obvious?” I finally respond.

“Only to me and Mom,” he replies with a shrug that tells me he would never judge me for how I feel. He understands. I still nod sadly because I don’t want to hurt Evan, and I was hoping he would be the answer to my infatuation with Lucius, but he’s not. Cam takes hold of my hand and pulls me around, so I’m forced to face him.

“Don’t settle, Helena,” he says softly. “I know you still have feelings for Lucius, even if I don’t fully understand it, I can see it. But that guy isn’t the answer. Don’t let him or Dad talk you into being something that you’re not.”

“God, how do you always know what I’m thinking?” I ask as I wrap my arms around him. “Thanks, Cam. I’m gonna miss you.”

“No, you won’t,” he says with a smile. “You’re gonna go and have an amazing time while I’m stuck here being all kinds of jealous of you. Promise me you’ll make the most of it.”

“I will,” I reassure him.

“I also think you should tell Evan not to come for that week,” he says, to which I sigh and look sheepishly to the floor. “But if you won’t, don’t let him ruin it for you. This is for you, Helena, no one else.”

“If only I was as brave as you,” I tell him, thinking how differently we’ve been brought up, simply because of our sex.

“Going off to Spain to work by yourself is pretty brave if you ask me,” he says. “But now, I’m going to escort you back to your room because I know those tablets will make you all dopey, just like you were when you got high on weed.”

“Oh, God, don’t remind me,” I laugh as he helps me back to my feet. “I was pretty wild though, wasn’t I?”

“That you were,” he replies with what sounds like pride.

“Some girl is going to be extremely lucky to have you one day, Cameron Carter,” I tell him when we reach my door. “You’re a good guy.”

“And some guy will be lucky to have you,” he whispers, knowing Evan is just behind the door. “A guy ofyourchoice.”

I’m gifted with one more hug before he marches off down the corridor to his bedroom. I take in a deep breath, then return to bed.

Chapter 17

Lucius

Two months later, Spain

It’s hotter than hell today, so I’ve not stepped outside of the shade since dawn. I hit my bed with the air conditioning on full blast and my body spread eagle. Thankfully, even when intoxicated, I knew it would be an awful idea to bring someone back to the boat. My heart’s not in it enough to want to suffer the body heat of another person. Pair that with the awkward conversation that comes the following day and I’d rather let my right hand do the job for me. Besides, it matters not if it’s another woman or myself, I always picture the same person when I need a sweet release.

Shit, Lucius, get a fucking grip!

Suffice it to say, I began to go stir-crazy hours ago. Even without the blaze of the sun, it’s still warm enough to cause profuse sweating and a desire to bathe in a tub of ice. However, my need to get away from this boat that I’ve rented for two weeks is winning out, so I change into something that isn’t saturated in my own body odor and call for the steward. The Spanish sun has been set to burning since I arrived, and if you’re stupid enough to not heed its warning, you’ll be on a one-way ticket to melanoma and a bad case of sunstroke. I should have known coming over here in August was going to be like visiting the surface of the sun, but you can’t help when gaps of time arrive at work.

The trip, so far, has been a well-deserved break, especially after spending the last six months studying and working at the office with Paul. He’s worked me hard in preparation for when I one day take over the branch in LA. Whilst it’s true I’ll be elevated much higher than my college peers, and in a fraction of the time, simply because I’m the son of Paul Hastings, no one can deny how hard I work. For all of my bravado, I have always felt a need to prove myself when it comes to Paul. He took on a child whose own mother didn’t even love him.