Page 37 of The Devil

“That bad?” I can’t help but laugh over her own disappointment.

“It was ok…ish,” I begin before slapping a hand over my face. “It was dull, Meri, really dull. He got off, but I most certainly did not. But you know, sex isn’t everything in a relationship, is it?”

She pulls the most horrified look I’ve ever seen on her. It’s so comical, I have to laugh, which I do until tears are streaming down my face. In the end, she’s laughing with me.

After we’ve both managed to calm down, I take a deep breath and pull up my big girl panties, ready to tell my parents about my plans for the summer. It’s going to be a long call, so Meri bids me good luck before leaving me to it.

Here we go!

The month passes by quickly, and after my parents’ initial shock over my plans to go away, my mother managed to calm Dad down to only a mild frenzy. The only way I could talk him out of forcing Cameron to go with me was the promise of bringing Evan home to meet them all. It was supposed to be a farewell dinner but is turning more into the Evan appreciation show. Dad is over-the-top pleased that I have managed to ‘bag a Stone’ as he likes to put it. Stone Accountancy is well known in our town and the fact that they’re one of the wealthiest families in the area only adds to the appeal. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already mentally planned our wedding.

Speaking of Evan, we’ve had sex a few times now, and apart from giving him a blow job, which he heavily hinted for, it’s not been any different from that first rather disappointing time. I haven’t climaxed once, and it’s beginning to grate on me that he seems content to take what he needs from me but offers nothing but boring missionary sex in return. He obviously doesn’t believe in returning oral sex; he’s not tried to go down on me once, and I’m far too shy to ask. If it wasn’t for Lucius showing me how amazing it feels, I doubt I would have even worried about it, but he did, so I do. Meri is right, I don’t want to settle for a relationship that gives me no sexual satisfaction at all; I think I’d rather go without any boyfriend.

It's sad really, because, in all other ways, Evan is virtually perfect. He’s sweet, caring, affectionate, and completely spoils me. He’s bought me countless phrasebooks and other travel items and has even topped up my phone with extra credit so I can check in with him while I’m over there. Meri thought this was a tad controlling, but I don’t think this is his intention, he’s just a naturally caring person. He’s also incredibly practical; I know he’s going to make an excellent accountant when he moves into his father’s firm.

Something is still missing though, and it’s not just because of the bad sex. There’s no spark, no passion, and everything feels so lukewarm. Even Meri has admitted that I might need to consider breaking it off with him. But I’m going to stick to the arrangement and wait until I get back from Spain. Maybe I’ll have a clearer head. Besides, it’s not like I’m stopping him from pursuing other opportunities.

“I’m kind of nervous,” Evan says to me when we pull up outside my folks’ place, and it makes me feel bad, knowing that he’s seemingly all in while I’m having major doubts.

“Don’t be,” I tell him truthfully, “they’ll love you. It’s me who Dad is disappointed with. He doesn’t approve of my ‘rebellion’. In fact, I think your coming will work in my favor. Come on, let’s go.”

I use my key to let myself in and call out into the seemingly deserted house. It’s Nate who comes out first, looking even taller than the last time I saw him. He gives me one of his lopsided grins, then hugs me before looking all kinds of awkward when he takes hold of Evan’s outstretched hand. Cam comes out next and slaps at Evan’s hand like he would any of his other friends, which seems to put Evan at ease a little. Though, when my parents come out to greet him, it becomes a little embarrassing.

Dad immediately begins pulling him into the living room, laughing over Evan’s polite attempts to be funny, all the while slapping him on the back and offering him glasses of his best whiskey. He’s acting as though his long-lost son has returned home to save the family from total ruin; it’s borderline cringey. Nate, Cam, and I look at one another, completely flabbergasted by Dad’s sucking up to Evan just because he’s wearing a nice suit and is set to have a promising career working for his father. Mom merely shrugs her shoulders before following them into the other room.

By the time we all shuffle inside, Dad and Evan have already fallen into a discussion about the world of finance. Dad is a fraud investigator at one of the biggest banks in the city, so I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

After dinner, which is even more uncomfortable with Dad’s crushing on my non-official boyfriend, we all return to the living room and have coffee. Nate turns in shortly afterward, obviously bored of the ‘grown-up’ conversation. To be fair, it’s also boring me to tears, much like my sex life. Evan, on the other hand, seems to be lapping it up, so I guess it’s ok, even if this is supposed to bemyfarewell dinner.

“So, Evan, what do you think of Helena going away for the summer? None too pleased I bet?” Dad chuckles while I try and resist the urge to get up and slap him. I think living away from Dad has made me see his misogynistic outlook for what it is – extremely outdated and insulting. “Not to mention the hair?!”

“Helena always looks beautiful to me,” Evan expertly replies, just as I spy Cam rolling his eyes with silent amusement. “And if she needs the summer to explore herself, then who am I to stand in her way?”

I smile in thanks at him as he takes hold of my hand and delivers a small kiss to it.God, he’s perfect. Too perfect.

“But surely, as her boyfriend, you must have a more concerned opinion on this?”

Dad’s face turns a little stony, clearly not impressed by Evan’s answer. I want to say something, to tell him to butt out, but I can’t. I’ve been brought up to never question what he says, to be the good little girl and do as I’m told. I can feel the words I want to say caught at the back of my throat, as well as the frustration of not being able to get them out.

“Well, strictly speaking, I’m not her boyfriend, not officially anyway,” Evan says, prompting my father’s face to look even more constipated than before.

“What are you then?!” Even Mom and Cam are now looking at me for answers I’d really prefer not to give right now. “What exactly is this between you two?”

“Evan has agreed to wait until I come back from Spain before we label this,” I explain, pointing between the two of us.

Cam immediately accepts this explanation with a casual nod of his head. Whereas Mom puts on one of her extremely fake smiles, knowing Dad is not going to be impressed with this.

“Well, I should have known you would be the one holding back, Helena,” Dad says with an obvious air of frustration. “And you’re happy with this, are you?”

“Well, not exactlyhappy, but I am more than willing to wait for her,” he says, bringing my hand up to kiss it again. “I think I’ve found my person with her.”

My father positively beams with happiness, whereas my eyes are no doubt bulging from out of my head. I can’t help it; I feel like I could be sick at any moment. Cam is watching me with suspicion. I never could hide my true emotions from him.

“Besides, I’ve already booked myself a ticket to Spain in July. I was going to surprise her, but I can’t help myself. I’m going to come and spend a week with you, baby.”

He smiles before leaning in to kiss me, catching me by surprise. And now it’s my turn to put on the fake grin. Am I terrible for not wanting him to come over? This is supposed to be about me, only me, and now it feels like he’s laying claim to it.

“You’re a lucky girl to have found this one, Helena,” Dad says smugly, looking at his new best friend like he’s won the lottery. “You’ll do well to remember that.”

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