Page 1 of Tear of Destiny

Chapter 1

The pain is still surging like a hot wave through my body, making every fiber and every nerve scream. I keep seeing Ayden’s face and hearing his shocked exclamation as he sees me standing in his doorway.

Max! I thought she was my friend. But she was just using me to get close to him.

My breath is rasping, and my lungs ache. It feels as if there’s a red-hot band around my chest threatening to crush me. Nothing can take this pain away; nothing can wipe these images from my memory – except for that soothing sense of unbridled power that I’m only too willing to follow. The more power I allow to flow out of me and into Yoru, the lighter I feel. It’s as if the pain and all my other emotions are streaming out of me. And that’s exactly what I need right now. I don’t want to feel anything; I don’t want to think; I just want to be numb and empty.

“Teresa,” Noah calls to me, shaking me gently. “Don’t give up, do hear me? We’re almost there.”

Noah found me standing in the middle of the street, in the process of turning into one of the fallen. And I still am, as I realize when I glance at my hands. Flames lick out from myfingers and black smoke pours out of my palms, my arms, probably my whole body. It tells me that I’m going too far and that I’m about to pass the point of no return. But right now, I don’t give a damn – I don’t care about anything anymore. I can’t go on. I’ve been through so many terrible things in the last few months. But what Ayden just did to me is more than I can bear.

I’m only vaguely aware of entering the Odyss. My vision is blurry, everything swirling and wavering before my eyes. But I think I see Noah summon another door, and we go through it.

We’re standing on the edge of a dark forest. Shimmering lights illuminate our surroundings, but even those are a blur. They dazzle me, so I close my eyes again. I feel so light, so far removed from everything. My legs no longer obey me.

Noah holds me, pulls me in close. “Teresa, I won’t let you just give up. Whatever happened, this is not the answer.” He pauses, and I assume he’s taking a look at me. “I hope it’s not too late.”

He drags me along behind him, and when I can no longer walk, he lifts me up and carries me. Being near him should make me feel better. I should be able to smell him, feel his warmth. But I sense nothing but cold and a disgusting smell that reminds me of sulfur and mud. I wonder whether the fallen smell like that because I’m beginning to suspect that the smell is coming from me.

“Teresa, open your eyes,” Noah commands, shaking me again. “Shit, damn it!” He increases his pace.

I want to answer him, but I can’t. I can’t even move my hands. My chest is rising and falling very slowly and laboriously. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was dying. But as horrible as it is, even that thought doesn’t scare me right now.

“Everything will be alright,” says this tempting voice in me. “Just a little farther and you’ll make it. Peace and quiet, no more tormenting memories, no more pain.”

As if those murmurings aren’t tempting enough, I pictureAyden again, and my heart contracts painfully. But his image is not the only one that flashes through my mind. I see Chloe, Aunt Frida, and, of course, Ty. They all look at me, and their lips form two words: “Let go.”

I can’t hold on anymore, and I feel the last of my resistance fading. There’s just this happy weightlessness, this inner emptiness. I barely even sense my body anymore. Maybe it no longer exists. I don’t care; I’m ready to go, and I take my final breath.

And at exactly that moment, I feel water around me. Agonizing heat. I scream and scream and scream like I’ve never screamed before. I lash out as violently as I can in my weakened state. But with this all-encompassing pain, some of my strength returns too.

I manage to open my eyes, although everything still looks blurry. Dark patches above me, which could be trees. Shimmering lights, mist swirling around me. I fight back with all my might, screaming in agony, and I’m sure I must have been mistaken – this isn’t water. I’ve been thrown into an immense fire. It’s as if I can feel my skin blistering and the flesh beneath it burning and coming away from the bone. I scream again, and finally, one of my arms strikes the person who’s holding me. Why is this happening to me? Why?

“Teresa,” says a voice that sounds vaguely familiar. “I’m sorry. I’m truly, terribly sorry. I know this must be painful, but it’s the only way. You have no other choice. Trust me, you’ll feel better soon.”

But I don’t trust this person. My entire body is seething, burning, tensed to breaking point. I shout and scream until I’m hoarse. My voice fails me, becomes a hideous rasp. Every nerve in my body is trying to escape this endless torture and force me to run away. But I can’t. I’m being held down and pushed into the heat. I can’t go on, I think, and then I finally experience somerelief and sink into merciful unconsciousness.

I can’t tell how much time passes. Again and again, I wake up and I’m plagued by this horrendous pain. No words can describe the agony, and I keep wondering each time what I did to deserve this. Why can’t they just let me go? Why can’t I follow the voice that’s calling to me and promising peace? It’s quieter now, harder to understand.

Each time, the wave of pain rises to a new high, at which point I lose consciousness, and I’m allowed to sink back into the merciful darkness. Hours pass, days, maybe weeks. I’ve lost my sense of time, but that’s irrelevant now anyway.

In my short periods of consciousness, I keep hearing this voice, and at some point, I recognize it as Noah’s. “Teresa, you can do this, you have to, do you hear me? I’m here, and you’re so strong.” But now and then I sense his fear, his doubt. “What if it’s too late? I don’t know what else to do.”

I register his touch. He strokes my forehead, my hair, my whole body. It’s gentle and delicate, but it’s always followed by this unbearable pain. When I manage to open my eyes, I see why. Noah keeps wetting his hands with something and rubbing it over me. It’s so incredibly painful, but it’s not quite as bad as it was at the start.

I’m overcome with tiredness again and let myself sink into it. Restless dreams, images of Mom, my friends. I hear their laughter, their voices. When I wake again from this deep sleep, I see Noah looking straight ahead with a tense expression. He appears not to have noticed that I’m awake. He lifts me up off the ground and carries me, and I see a small lake. Smoke hangs above its surface, and the water shimmers in breathtaking colors, emitting a strange glow.

Noah takes me to it and submerges me, still holding me in his arms, and for the first time in so long, there’s no pain. He dipshis hand in the water and passes it over my body again. When he looks at my face, he sees that I’m awake. I see astonishment in his eyes, disbelief and relief. Noah stares at me speechlessly for a moment and seems afraid to speak to me, afraid of asking his questions and maybe finding out that I’m no longer the same person. Am I? I don’t know.

“What… what happened?” I rasp. My voice sounds scratchy, hoarse, and unfamiliar. But it’s no wonder after all the screaming.

“You… you were on the verge of becoming one of the fallen,” Noah says finally. “I found you because you were emitting so much odeon that it was impossible not to notice. Then I brought you here to the goddesses’ garden. This lake still contains some of their power, and sometimes it can be used to stop a person from turning. You have to find them in time, and they have to survive the procedure, which isn’t easy as you found out for yourself. The chances weren’t good. But I had no other option.” This is hard for him to talk about, and I can see how difficult this period has been for him and how afraid he was for me.

I remember Noah telling me about this garden the last time I was in the Odyss. It’s a sacred place, and it’s off-limits, even to the fallen. So they won’t come looking for me here even if they can sense me.

“How long have we been here?” I ask.

“Eight days,” Noah replies. “A long time, and I’m sorry you had to endure so much pain. But it was the only way. It was your only chance. There were times when I thought you weren’t going to make it.”

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