Page 2 of Tear of Destiny

“I’m sorry,” I say, looking around me again. Blue grass grows around the edge of the lake and trees beyond that. The water still shines in beautiful fluorescing colors. It’s glowing, and there are lights dancing above the surface too. This is an absolutely magical place – quiet and peaceful. But I’ve been through hellhere in the last few days.

“I’m not even supposed to be here,” Noah continues. “And it’s totally forbidden to use the source itself. The power here is too precious, and in time it would all be used up.”

I gulp, because Noah has once again broken the rules and taken a big risk for me.

His fingertips wander down the side of my face, over my forehead, my cheeks, my lips. “I just couldn’t let you die,” he murmurs.

I can imagine there have been others like him who put all their hopes into this place. I hate to think how many people have died here, or transformed anyway, and how many helpers had to pay a high price for their love.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks quietly, but then he shakes his head. “Sorry, it’s probably too soon. You’ve just woken up. I know you’ve been through a lot in the last few weeks and that the temptation must have been great. It is for everyone who fights with a key spirit. We’re constantly nearing the edge, and we know the call well – the liberating feeling that gets stronger the closer we get to the other side.” He studies my face. “Most students are a long way from that limit. But you’ve always been different,” he adds with a smile. “For us, it’s always a challenge not to go farther, to resist the temptation and remain who we are.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmur again. “I’ve caused you so much trouble.”

“More than anything, you scared me, but I don’t blame you. I know how much you’ve been through. I’ve witnessed a person transforming twice before. Unfortunately, those times I couldn’t help.”

The whole situation, this environment, everything feels so surreal. I listen inside of myself, but I’m not sure what I feel. Shouldn’t this situation scare me? What if I’ve lost part of myself and changed irreversibly?

Noah caresses my face, looks into my eyes, and says, “Let’s get out of the water. That should be enough for now. But its effect doesn’t last long at the beginning. You’ll have to repeat the procedure several times in the coming days and weeks. The intervals can be gradually increased, and eventually you’ll be able to stop coming altogether. But you won’t make it without it.”

“That’s a great prospect,” I mutter.

“Sorry,” Noah repeats.

He carefully supports me as I walk across the sandy lakebed. It all happens very slowly, and I really notice how much my body has suffered over these past days. I feel weak. I have no energy and barely make it to the shore. To my relief, I see Yoru there. He looks tired too. He’s lying on the grass and lifts his head to look at me. I can see in his eyes that he’s okay, but I wonder what it’s been like for him.

Eight days, I think. A long time to not be in school or at home. They’ll be worried about me, maybe even searching for me. I briefly allow myself to think of Ayden and wonder what he’s been through, how my disappearance affected him. But I don’t linger on that thought.

As the water gets shallower, I realize that I’m wearing nothing but my underwear. But even that doesn’t bother me. When I glance at Noah, he looks away, embarrassed, and I see him blush.

“Your skin needed as much contact with the water as possible. And I couldn’t leave you in those wet things the whole time.”

“It’s okay,” I mutter, clinging to Noah as we approach the shore, and the buoyancy of the water is no longer there to support me. I slump to the ground and gasp for breath. “What’s wrong with me?” I whisper, running my hand through my wet hair.

Noah is instantly at my side, draping a blanket around me and sitting down beside me.

“It took a lot of energy to resist the transformation. For you and your spirit. You were pretty far advanced. It wouldn’t have taken much more for you to be lost forever.” He’s speaking quietly now, but his words lose none of their intensity, pain, and heartache. “It’s normal for you to feel depleted at this point. You’re probably also finding it hard to feel anything. At least, that’s what it says in the testimonies of the Noctu who narrowly escaped the transformation. There haven’t been many. I don’t know if it applies in your case.”

“Will my emotions come back eventually?” I ask.

Noah nods. “They’ll grow stronger with every minute, every hour, and every day until they reach their original level.”

I nod numbly, unsure whether I should be happy about that. I’m so empty, so tired, so depleted.

“You should eat,” Noah suggests. “I tried to feed you and keep your fluids up over the past few days, but it was barely enough to keep you alive.”

“I’m not really hungry,” I say, but Noah ignores this.

“I’ll just pop into the village and grab you something to wear and something to eat and drink.” He looks at me doubtfully, then decides to ask anyway, just to be sure, “Can I leave you here alone for a while?”

I nod, and Noah leaves immediately. I wrap the blanket more tightly around myself because suddenly, I feel cold – at least I have some physical sensation. Hopefully that means I’m on the road to recovery. I gaze out at the beautiful surroundings that I barely registered in the last eight days. Noah spent the entire time caring for me and making sure I didn’t succumb. He saved me, again.

I know I need to leave this place as soon as possible. Does my mother know about my disappearance? What have they told her? What has the school done? Are they searching for me? But I can’t go back there yet, nor do I want to. It’s too much to dealwith, and I’m just not up to it right now.

I’m so tired, so incredibly tired. I slowly sink down on the blue grass, feel the cool blades under my fingers, and close my eyes.

Chapter 2

When I wake, I don’t know where I am at first. I see the lake, the dancing lights, the tall trees, but it takes me a moment to remember.

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