Page 3 of Embracing Darkness

She smiles sadly, but she looks a little more confident now.“OK, let’s try it.”

“Come over here, let’s sit down for a bit,” I suggest. She needs to calm herself and relax a little first. Gray goes to her and rests his head on her thigh. She caresses his scaly skin, and it brings a smile to her face.

“These are the kinds of moments you should think back to when you’re trying to access your power,” I suggest. “Remember how close you and Gray are. Think about how much Ty meant to you and what he gave you. He’ll always be with us.”

She nods. Tears well up in her eyes. “You’re right,” she says, standing up. “Let’s try again.”

She takes a deep breath and tries again to send odeon to her spirit.

“Feel free to get on with your own training,” she says. “I’ll keep working on this. Maybe it’ll be easier if there’s not so much attention on me.”

I nod and bend down to Yoru. I ruffle his warm fur. “Hey, what do you say? You ready to start?”

My little fox looks at me attentively, his three tails wagging excitedly as if he’s trying to tell me he’s ready. I send him odeon, and he transforms instantly. He gets bigger, symbols appear on his head, and little flames lick out around him in the air. Yoru stands there ready for action. He assumes an attacking stance and waits for my first command. I’m reminded of our last fight and of Ty – of his death, for which I still feel responsible. I never want to fail like that again and have to rely on somebody else’s help. I have to be strong. Yoru and I need to be a unit.

Yoru continues to grow as I send him more odeon. His claws lengthen, and the flames blaze hotter. The effort should be making my pulse race and my heart feel like it’s about to explode. But I feel totally calm and focused. There’s nothing in my head but the desire to become stronger. I don’t want to be protected; I want to stand up for myself. And the sooner I learnto do this, the better. All the stress I’ve been under lately, all the painful emotions, the grief... it’s as if they’re being burned out of my soul. No sooner do I have that thought in my head than I sense the heat rushing through my fingers. And there they are: little flames licking around my fingertips.

“Miss Franklin, what are you doing?” Mr. Laydon’s voice thunders across the hall. I sense him approaching, and I know I should stop. But I don’t care. I haven’t felt this good in ages. Freedom calls to me and urges me to continue. I want to hold on to this intoxicating feeling forever.

Suddenly, I feel warm fingers on my own. I can feel the heat radiating from them and mingling with the power of my own flames.

“I know it’s tempting. You want to wash all the pain from your soul and feel this lightness. But it’s a fine line, and it’s easy to go too far. Then there’s no going back. Believe me, this is not the answer.”

Ayden’s voice is at least as gentle as his touch. He’s standing right behind me, his breath brushing the back of my neck. Part of me knows he’s right, but there’s still this intense compulsion to continue. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I bite my lip and can’t decide what to do.

“Teresa,” Ayden whispers, “I know you’ve been through a lot, and it’s been really hard for you lately. This path may seem like the right one. It looks so easy, and you can forget about all those terrible experiences. But some things, and especially some people, are worth all the grief and the painful emotions. You’re strong; you can deal with it.”

The image of Ty flashes across my mind. I see him disappear in the flames, see his coffin being lowered into the ground. Mr. Brian accusing me of being like my great aunt. And then Ayden – the way he stood in my room after we’d spent the night together and then just left. It all hurts. More than words can describe. Ilook at Yoru, still standing transformed in front of me, looking bigger and darker than I’ve ever seen him.

He looks at me expectantly. He’s probably as unsure as I am about what will happen next. But I also know that he’s ready for anything.

Very slowly, I take a breath and withdraw my odeon. Ayden’s right. Although it feels good at first – forgetting everything, not having to feel anything, I know I can’t go down that road. There’s a reason I feel this way, and as hard as it is right now, I have to allow these emotions to exist.

The flames around my fingers disappear. Ayden lets go of my hand and takes a step back. He nods but doesn’t say another word. He walks away and leaves me standing here. As hard as it feels right now, I know I’ve made the right choice.

Chapter 3

It was unbelievable, the way the flames came out of your fingers,” says Kate, sitting down on her bed.

After training, we both came back to her room. She understands that I began to merge with Yoru. Nor did it escape the teachers, who gave me a serious dressing down.

“It looked incredible,” Kate continues enthusiastically. “And I can’t even send Gray a tiny bit of odeon.”

“That will come,” I say, trying to reassure her. “I had problems at the beginning too, and I have to say, the coaches weren’t exactly helpful.”

“They’re just not used to students starting at our age with so little experience,” says Kate.

She’s right, but I figure it’s not unreasonable to expect a little understanding from the teachers.

“How did it feel when you were connected to Yoru like that? I heard it’s pretty dangerous and that there’s a risk of merging completely with your spirit and becoming one of the fallen.” Her voice is somber, and she looks at me with concern. “But you had it under control, right? You were just testing how far you could go?”

I’m not entirely sure what was up with me in that moment. Or maybe I just don’t want to admit it. But if Ayden hadn’t come...

“I was just trying it out. But I won’t be repeating that anytime soon, don’t worry. It was really intense, feeling this power in myself and watching Yoru’s power increase at the same time.”

I can still feel it: that lightness, the sudden calmness, the intoxicating freedom. I feel a faint pang in my heart, like a muffled call – quiet, sweet, and oh so enticing. Part of me is relieved when my thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

Kate gets up to open it. But she doesn’t need to because the door opens before she gets to it. Her mother enters, and judging by her expression, she’s not in the best mood.

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