Page 6 of Valentine Mine

It was me who was the problem.

Actually telling him about everything I was feeling was going to be hard.

“Ready?”Jagger asked Luca.“Shaw is waiting.I haven’t told her where we’re going yet, but she is practically vibrating with excitement.”

“All set.”He handed off one of the bags to our friend before dropping a kiss on my lips.“Baby, I packed for both of us.I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

“Okay,” I murmured, fixing a smile on my face.“Sounds exciting.Is what I’m wearing okay?”

His eyes raked over me, and I knew from the shade of brown that he liked what he saw.Warmth settled low in my belly, my entire body seeming to come alive.

But then I exhaled and felt how uncomfortable my sweats were all over again.It was as if I fizzled out.How could anyone find me attractive with all my jiggles?My ass was so big, I was surprised the seams could contain me.My boobs were all muffin-topped out of my bra.And all those rolls.Gross.

Confusion furrowed Luca’s brow, and I sensed Jagger tensing beside me.“Baby?”

I grabbed the door, swinging it wider, making sure my smile was in place.“Are we driving or flying?”

Jagger and Luca shared a look before Jagger put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out to his SUV.“We’re taking your plane.No need for the bodyguard since it’s going to be a private weekend.”

“Great.”I nodded to myself, leaning into his touch for just a moment to soak up a little of the strength I knew he was ready to offer.

Shaw powered down her window and stuck her head out.“Hey, sexy!I’ve missed your face.”

“I’ve missed yours more,” I told her honestly.

There must have been something in my voice, or maybe I’d let my smile slip, but Shaw’s bright smile dimmed the closer I got.Opening the passenger door, she jumped out and engulfed me in a hug.

“You okay?”she whispered.

“Well, this was kind of dropped on me,” I laughed.“But other than that, ya know.”

Her hand caught mine, and our fingers automatically entwined.“Sure,” she agreed.“Jags, I’m sitting in the back with my bestie.”

“No problem, dimples,” he assured her as he opened a door for her while Luca stored our cases.

My plane was kept in a private hangar at a small airport.Jagger and Luca made conversation the entire drive, while Shaw laid her head on my shoulder.She didn’t ask what was wrong, but I knew she would pounce on me the moment we were alone.

I hadn’t told her any of what I’d been feeling lately.For one, it seemed stupid.A month before, I hadn’t been feeling so vulnerable.Maybe a teeny-tiny bit, but nothing like this.Now, I couldn’t even shower without feeling sick when I soaped my body.

For another, Shaw was a model, for fuck’s sake.She was the face of several fashion brands and had her own makeup line now.There was even a bra named for her.After each of her pregnancies, she’d actually lost weight.She didn’t have any extra jiggle or rolls or stretch marks.It wasn’t that I was jealous of her.I loved her body.But she wouldn’t understand what I was feeling because she’d never had to look at herself in the mirror and wonder how her husband could stomach touching her.

CHAPTERSIX

violet

From the momentthe pilot landed on the private island, I was pissed.I’d figured we were going somewhere nice, but this was too much.Mainly because I knew everyone would be in bathing suits all weekend, and I was well aware of what I did and didn’t have in my closet for a trip like this.

I hadn’t been in my bikini since the previous summer.Admittedly, I’d lost a few pounds since then, but too much remained for me to want to be walking around in little else for two days.At our pool at home, maybe I could have built up the courage.In front of my husband, our best friends, and—from the second jet that was already being refueled—my brother-in-law and his in-laws?

No way.

Had anyone thought to ask me if I wanted to come here, I would have told them to fuck off.

But I hadn’t been asked, and I could already feel the heat of embarrassment climbing my neck before we even disembarked the plane.

Two golf carts were waiting on us a safe distance away, each with drivers in khaki shorts and polo shirts.One rushed over to take our bags, while the other informed us that Mr.Fontana and his family were already at the house.

Perfect.

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