Page 5 of Valentine Mine

As soon as their arms went around me, my heart turned to goo.Luca and Love Bug might have the sweetest father-daughter connection I’d ever seen, but my boys and I were a team.They were so much like Luca in how they loved and always wanted to protect me.

Hugging them back, I dropped kisses on both their heads.“Be good.Try to help your granddads with the little ones.”

“We will,” they promised, giving me one more squeeze.“Love you, Mom.”

“Love you.”I waved as they ran out the door.

After a little love from my babies, Dad and Jesse made quick exits.As I closed the door behind them, my shoulders dropped.It was Valentine’s weekend.Of course Luca would want to do something romantic.But I was not in the mood to be romanced.

I glanced down at my clothes.I was wearing sweats that were too tight on my ass and rubbed against my belly in a way that reminded me it was never going to be flat again.After the first set of twins, I’d struggled to lose the extra pounds and didn’t succeed in getting to my ideal weight goal before I’d gotten pregnant for the third time.

With Aidan and Ciaran, I’d gained so much weight I’d looked like a whale even after giving birth, and I was still struggling to get rid of at least fifty pounds.My boobs were all stretched out after breastfeeding five kids, and I had so many stretch marks on my stomach, thighs, and other areas of my body that I wanted to cry every time I looked in the mirror.

It didn’t help that the media was trashing me for the way I looked.Even the sports networks were talking about how I’d let myself go and now my insecurities were costing the NFL the best defensive player in history because I was making him retire to save our marriage.

Assholes.

Like they knew anything about our private life.

I knew it was what they did.Starting rumors, nitpicking every little thing from a frown in a picture to the double chin I had while eating a hot dog at the biggest game of the year.There wasn’t a drop of truth to it.

But…

HowcouldLuca, with his perfect washboard abs and all those rippling muscles, want me, his flabby, drab wife?

He did, though.There was no denying that.He made love to me every chance he got.It was me.I didn’t feel sexy anymore.I’d let the media get in my head and obliterate my self-confidence.My mental health was starting to suffer because of it.And if I didn’t do something soon, it would affect my marriage.

I just didn’t know how to talk about it.

My mental health struggles in the past had taken me to a dark place.And while I wasn’t there yet, I could feel the shadows closing in around me.

Apparently Luca had noticed something was off, though.There would be no hiding now.

CHAPTERFIVE

violet

Taking several deep breaths,I went to find Luca.But as I started to take a step away from the door, the knob turned.Startled, I found Jagger grinning down at me when it swung open.

Thankful for the reprieve, I threw my arms around his middle.“Hi.”We saw each other multiple times a week, sometimes a day, but it never felt like enough.I missed him and Shaw so much.

He hugged me back, and I felt him kiss the top of my head.“Hey, Vi.”Pulling back enough to see my face, he winked down at me.“Are you still cold, sweetheart?You must have caught a chill while we were in New York.”

Confused, I frowned.“Cold?”

“That’s what Luca and I figured since you’ve been living in hoodies lately,” he explained, keeping his arm around me, while, behind me, I heard Luca coming down the stairs.

“Yeah.”I accepted the excuse, fighting a moan when his fingers teased over my hip.“Can’t seem to get warm enough.”

Looking up, I saw my husband carrying two suitcases and bit back a groan for an entirely different reason.Whatever the plans were, they apparently involved travel.Which meant less time having to talk out my feelings to the three people I loved the most.But it also meant the chance of more people and less privacy.I didn’t want anyone hearing what any of us had to say.

It was a lose-lose, no matter how I looked at it.

But the bright side was if Jagger was there, then Shaw would be too.I knew I could get through this with my two dearest friends to hold my hands.Not that I needed them to.Luca would never let me fall.If I simply told him.

We were strong.Our marriage was amazing.

I was the weak one.

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