Page 88 of Two Marlboros

“It was just ...” he looked at me, anxiously, “... unexpected.”

I had to stop. That couldn’t be called a kiss. And it had been half-dry, too.

“Sorry. I just didn’t want those two girls to come here. It’s not like I want to come between you and Oliver or anything.”

“I know.”

I was regaining color, I was sure. Even the embarrassment of looking at Nathan was slowly disappearing.

It had been just a game, nothing more. That was it.

I regained contact with the outside world. The memory of that kiss almost began to seem unreal to me.

“Really, Nathan, it’s okay.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

“To prove it to you, I’ll give you a gift.”

There, yes. We needed a diversion.

“Meaning?”

I told him to close his eyes, and he obeyed. I slipped a hand into my back pocket and slipped out the pack of cigarettes I had been holding, which I placed in the palm of his hand. He recognized it immediately, at least by the smile that formed on his face before I told him to open his eyes.

He took a cigarette out of the pack like a starving man who sees a loaf of bread after weeks. Each time he had reactions I could hardly believe. Even with the first puff you could read the bliss on his face.

“Oh, so wonderful. Thank you.”

I let him enjoy his cigarette while I remained alone with my thoughts. That night there had been a serious collision between our two universes, so abrupt that, on mine, the earth had trembled. First only chandeliers had danced, then glasses had begun to come out of the open cupboard and crash to the floor in a thousand pieces. Buildings had swayed, streets had ripped apart, and there I was, amongst all the devastation, counting the damage. I cast him a fleeting glance, but he noticed, and a smile escaped him.

No one would ever know. It had not been a serious act, but neither had it been something I would tell everyone. And what need was there to do that? It would remain my little secret, the kind I would take to my grave. I really did love Oliver, and besides, it was Nathan who had kissed me. I hadn’t even had time to figure out what was going on.

When he took his last puff, he looked around for a place to throw the butt; he walked toward a basket placed in the center of the small square, but when it was time to turn back, he stopped.

He slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. From the way he stared at the screen he must have gotten a text, but his face betrayed no emotion, which was rather strange for him. He kept walking toward me reading the text, and when he was close enough, he handed me the phone to show it.

All I had to do was read the first few words and I knew immediately who the sender was.

Hi Nate, I’m sorry

about yesterday. When will we

see each other again? I will make

make it up to you.

Harvey

I smiled on behalf of Nathan, who continued to remain serious, then I handed him back his phone.

“Well? Aren’t you happy?”

“I should be, shouldn’t I?”

“Come on, answer him. If you really don’t want to fix anything for the time being, tell him you’ll let him know, at least he understands there’s interest on your part.”

Nathan drew a deep breath. He stared at the phone screen for a while and ran his fingertips over the keys, but without pressing them. He opened his mouth to say something, but onlyan annoyed breath came out. He began to write, erasing and rewriting, until he stopped.

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