Page 161 of Two Marlboros

“So, you still want to go?”

I ran my fingers over the lines of his hand, taking in his lifeline, which turned out to be quite long.

“Don’t take it personally. It’s just that these past few weeks I’ve had some...” and his voice barely cracked, “...things that have made me realize that maybe I really need to learn to be on my own. It just seems like a good opportunity, that’s all.”

His hand stiffened again, and I had a suspicion that he was not talking about the attack. Something was bothering him again, but he wasn’t going to talk about it, at least not at that moment.

“Alright. And of course, we’ll see each other before you leave. In fact, we could arrange something, a little party.”

Her eyes lit up. “Yes, that would be great! We could invite Ash and Nelly too, we’ll have something to eat together and afterwards we’ll go off and have fun somewhere!”

Nathan smiled and let his eyes wander to a pleasant-tasting image. I, on the other hand, thought about the existence or non-existence of fate, about what would have become of my life if there had been no robbery that morning. I was fairly certain that I would never have intertwined my existence with a guy like him, whom I would have considered so distant from my world; instead, there I was, after overcoming some distrust and perhaps a prejudice or two, looking at how long his love line was.

“Do you like that as an idea?” he asked.

“Very much.”

“Alright, then I’ll let you go if you have to.”

I nodded and stood up, letting go of Nathan’s warm hand. He didn’t take his eyes off me for a second, perhaps not even when I left the room.

As I walked out of there, I felt happier than a child with cotton candy in his hand. In the end, it had been enough just to bring my fingers a little closer together for the gravel not to spill out.

I walked out of the hospital and a chill ran down my spine. The air had become crisper, so I walked quickly back to the car, where I found Ash leaning with his back on the front door. He kept his hands in his pockets and had a concentrated, somewhat puzzled expression.

“Are you alright?” I asked, as soon as I was close.

He flinched a little, as if I had startled him, and he flashed a knowing smile on his face.

“Yes, yes. What did Nathan tell you?”

“Nothing about the investigation.”

I was ready to absorb his usual banter about it, but he said nothing. Instead, he pulled a hand out of his pocket and scratched his forehead, then sighed.

“I’d like to tell you what I think about this whole thing. And I’m telling you because I think highly of you, and I know you’ll keep your private life out of it when you hear what I’m about to tell you.”

I frowned, trying to understand, but failing. “What are you talking about?”

“About the investigation, the robbery and everything else.”

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?”

Ash ran a hand up and down his face, as if to rouse him from the slumber of too much reflection. He emitted a deep sigh and stared at me.

“Something about this smells fishy to me. I ask you not to interrupt me until I finish. Agreed?”

I nodded. Suddenly I felt my stomach upset, and an uneasy feeling ran through my whole body.

“We received an anonymous phone call. While you were inside, Church called and reported it to me. The call said to go through Nathan’s house, because apparently one of the cell phones Waitch uses for his communications is hidden there.”

I squinted my eyes. “What?”

“We still have to verify this report,” Ash continued, ignoring me, “and we have to do so without arousing suspicion, but that’s not the point.”

It was obvious that someone had set him up, because Nathan needed money, yes, but he wasn’t the dirty-money type. He wanted to go to the other coast to rebuild his life, because in Manhattan the rent was choking him and also because he needed to find himself. He had told me that, and I had believed him. I still believed him.

“The phone call was not only about that,” Ash continued, “but also about little notes, identical to the ones Michael Cossner received. These are notes that are used to keep track of the debts that customers incur with drug dealers, a kind of flying note. Of course, it’s safer that way than on some computer file, which can be easily stolen or seized.”