Page 16 of In Her Own Rite

I walk towards them as the voices of the men grow louder. As I reach them, Em steps between the other healers and me and looks up, her big blue eyes meeting mine. I see her swallow with nerves as she lifts the black stone bowl in her hands up to me to drink.

“Kieran Kakayyut, son of Tayyakuk,” she says, and lifts the bowl to my mouth. “May the ancestors guide you and uncover your weakness. May you rise to the fight. May you wrestle into submission the weakness within you and return to us.”

She tilts the bowl back, and thekattakaspills into my mouth. The taste is bitter, the texture is thick with herbs, like the last dregs of badly-filtered coffee. I choke it down with a cough, and feel it slither down my throat and into my stomach.

“You have your pack behind you, and the ancestors before you,” she says. “But you must make your way up to the ring alone. We’ll see you in the morning.Agaayit ikka.”Gods be with you.

I turn to leave the hall, strangely uneasy from the formality of the ceremony. I can somehow feel thekattakaalready, coiling like a snake in my stomach, forming something in me that’s not of me. As I reach the outer door to the building and step into the cold night air, I hear a sound behind me. I smell her before I feel her hand catch my wrist.

“Kier, wait.”

Em’s voice is quiet, just for me. I turn around and she’s looking up at me, her ocean-blue eyes wide. I can smell the fear on her, wrapping around the scent of her heat and essence.

“Here. This is for you,” she says, and hands me a black hair tie that she’s removed from her wrist.

I take it from her, bewildered, and she wraps me in her arms and pulls herself into my chest.

“Be safe,” she whispers in my ear, and I can hear the nerves in her voice. “Come home in one piece, okay? Promise me.”

“I promise,” I say, and pull her close. I take a deep breath, and maybe it’s thekattaka, but for a second, the moment feels bigger than both of us. I can feel something in her, beneath the fear. Sadness, both hers and mine, but I don’t know what for. And then, in a moment, she’s gone, pulling away and giving me a nervous smile as she turns back to the common house.

I put the hair tie around my wrist and turn to head for the cliffs.

The journey upto the ring isn’t steep, but it’s long and winding. Thekattakahits you fast; I can feel the edges of my vision grow soft as I reach the first resting point. As I look up, I see the first traces of thekiyyulit—the Northern Lights, as mainlanders call them—beginning to appear on the horizon, dancing gently above the cliffs. They seem more vibrant than usual, as though they’re pulsing with energy.

It takes an hour or so of hiking before the ring starts to come into the view. The large rocks marking the outer edge jut out against the black sky, and my breath fogs in the air like mist. It’s icier up here, bone-cold and quiet. As I near the ring, thekiyyulitare stronger than ever, almost neon, dancing with frenetic energy. I can see them pooling in the ring like vapors, their shape obscured by the rocks marking the perimeter.

My vision is softer now and I feel a little hazy. I’ve talked a good game, but now that I’m actually here, I can feel the dull hum of nerves in my chest. My inner wolf is stressed, pacing back and forth, growling in agitation for whatever’s in there.

Cool it, I think. The only enemy is fear.Especiallyhere.

I take a swig of water from the bottle Gabe packed for me, and slip it into my rucksack. With the other hand I feel for the knife strapped to my leg.

I can do this.It’s just one night. For the pack, for Em. For us, and our future.

Then I turn the corner, and head for the arch that marks the entrance to the ring.

As I walk in, the lights are so bright they’re almost blinding. They start to swirl around me, encircling my limbs like smoke, like magic. My wolf panics.

It’s thekattaka, I think to myself.You’re seeing things. There’s nothing here.

But then I look up and I see her. In the middle of the ring, maybe some thirty feet from me, is a woman looking out at the vast expanse of the sea below. The outer edge of the ring is empty, the cliff’s edge raw and unencumbered by rocks.

The woman is made of light and mist. Thekiyyulitwrap around her like thin layers of translucent fabric, blue and green and purple, dancing over her skin. But it’s not just her clothing—her whole body is glowing, pulsing with energy.

“Móra,” I whisper, walking towards her and falling to my knees. Isthismy challenge? To wrestle the Goddess herself, like Tayyakuk?

She turns around slowly, eerie, her hair floating around her as though she’s in water.

“You,” she says. I look up as she steps closer, raising a finger from a lazy hand. Her face carries the shadow of something familiar. For a second, in motion, she looks like Emerson, but it’s not her. The goddess is older, her bone structure stronger, her eyes dark.

“You can’t save her, you know,” she says. Her voice feels like it’s coming from a thousand miles away and from inside me all at once.

“What?” I ask, woozy.

“Emerson. You know you can’t save her,” she says, stepping closer to me. “No one can. After all, look what happened to me.”

And that’s when I hear the growling behind me.

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