Page 15 of In Her Own Rite

I keep my head low and focus on scarfing down my breakfast as they joke back and forth. After a minute, Saga’s hand appears in my periphery with the salt mix for the day of my rite. I take it from her and let the salt dissolve onto my tongue, then wash it down with water. Finally, once the food is done, I stand up.

“I’m taking a walk.”

“Don’t you need to prepare?” Maren asks, looking up. “What about your day-of ritual?”

“Hey, it’s your rite today, man, save your energy,” says Gabe.

“Nah, I need to clear my head. I’ll be back,” I say, and walk out.

The walk doesnothing for me, and I head for Saroe’s common house in the mid-afternoon. Thekattakaceremony will be just past nine, but before that, it’s the guys’ job to help prepare me. We go through the five-step ritual to prepare my body for the rite: salt scrub, sauna, cold pool, followed by stretching and hydration. Seb tacks on some meditation—it never works for me, but at least it helps me relax a little after the shame of the morning.

I skip dinner, the usual practice on the day of your rite. After Seb and Gabe have eaten, they return to the common house with my mentor, Heimig, and Ivo, one of the island marshals who I know from the gym. Together, the four of them complete my training pack. They help me loosen up and focus, until it’s time to get into my fighting gear. For that, I head into the wooden changing rooms alone.

As a kid, you imagine you’ll meet Móra dressed as a Viking, covered in chainmail and heavy breastplates, but no. I pick up the clothing that’s folded on the wooden bench: my wool baselayer, and on top of that some synthetic body armor—good against knives, claws, and teeth. That’s the only special item. On top of that goes my shirt and a light wool sweater. Seb and Gabe have already packed my rucksack for me: water and a small amount of food, bandages and salve, a hunting knife, and some rope. You can choose to bring bigger weapons, but anything you take into the ring can also be used against you. And besides, I don’t need it.

I strap the knife to my thigh and pull on my outer layers, snow pants, and backpack. Just before nine, Seb walks into the changing room.

“Em’s here already, with Saga and thekattaka,” he says, shutting the door behind him.

“Great,” I say, lacing up my boots. “I’m ready.”

“You know, it’s okay to be nervous.”

I give him a look. “What is this? Did they send you in here to get me all emotional before I head out?”

“No,” he says, crossing his arms. “I came to give you some last-minute advice.”

I nod, waiting, but he hesitates. I feel the air grow heavy. The weight of his rite still hangs between us—at least for me.

“Sit,” he says finally, and gestures for the wooden bench. I do as I’m told, and he sits next to me, leaning his forearms on his knees.

“Listen, I… I can’t tell you how it’s gonna be,” he says, and I can hear the rattle of nerves in his voice. “But I can tell you not to make my same mistakes, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He’s silent for a long minute. I can tell whatever he’s about to share is as much for him as it is for me, so I wait.

“The body armor isn’t made to shift,” he says finally. “So don’t let your wolf take over if you haven’t taken it off. If you rip through it, it’s useless. It won’t do anything for you, even if you use it to shield yourself.”

I nod, trying not to imagine whatever he went through up there—alone, without protection. Without his pack.

“And…” He hesitates, then sits up straight and looks me in the eye. “It’s gonna fuck with you, whatever it is. Maybe you won’t be surprised like I was. But whatever shape the ancestors take, it’s gonna mess with your head. Don’t let it shake you. Don’t show weakness. And whatever it is, don’t give in.”

“Okay…” I say again. If I’m honest, I have no idea what to do with this. I can see it means something to him, though, so I nod like it lands.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

“Yeah. Let’s roll.”

We stand, and I follow him out into the ceremonial hall.

The room is familiar to me—this is where we have all the pack council meetings, and I’ve been to many to listen in, even if I couldn’t vote until now. But it looks different tonight, half-empty and shrouded in darkness. As we near the entryway, I see the healers in the center of the room, gently illuminated by lanterns resting at their feet. The men in my training pack—Seb, Gabriel, Heimig, and Ivo—line up on either side of the entrance, and other men from the council fill in the sides, forming a path that leads me to the healers.

I stand in the entryway, waiting. Once both lines have formed, the men on either side begin to beat their chests and thighs in unison. They stomp their feet, growling and snarling, performing an ancient dance I haven’t had to learn, since I wasn’t here for Seb’s rite. As they begin chanting in Fakari, I walk towards the wise women, the way Heimig instructed earlier today.

Son of Tayyakuk, valiant warrior, the men chant.It is time for you to prove your worth. It is time to earn your place on the islands.

I look up at Em.Agaayu. She looks so beautiful standing there, waiting for me. The second I see her, I can’t look away. Her long blonde hair is loose and wavy, falling around the slight curves of her body. She’s wearing the same kind of robe as Saga and Helen, the other healers. It looks strange on her, foreign and overly formal after years of seeing her in mostly loose cotton dresses and oversized sweaters. But it suits her, somehow; the rich color and heavy drape highlight her face—delicate, ethereal. Like an angel, I think.

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