Page 107 of In Her Own Rite

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. She’d be 28 or 29 now, I guess? Green eyes, curly hair.”

Thalia nods. “I knew her. She’s dead.”

I see the reaction in Gabe’s body, his shoulders tensing as he sits up.

“What? What happened?”

“She died ten, eleven years ago,” she says with a wave of her hand. “She fell into the ravine at the heart of our largest island. They found her days later. You knew her, then?” she asks, noting his reaction.

“Sort of.” His voice is hollow. I’ve never seen him like this, and I find myself feeling like I’m watching a movie I’m completely outside of. I don’t even know who he’s talking about.

“Well. I’m sorry for your loss.” She doesn’t sound sorry; her posture is tight, her tone almost derisive. I give Gabe a minute to respond, but his hand is on his mouth and he seems lost somewhere inside his mind.

“Sothisyou can share,” I say, “but something that’ll keep our islands safe, you’ll only save for a deal?”

“It’s different. He knew the girl.” I expect her to raise her chin defiantly, but she looks tired, worn-down, and her voice is softer now. “But if it makes a difference to your council, yes. Tell them I helped. Tell them whatever they need to hear. Just get us out of there, please.”

“I’ll bring it up, but I can’t guarantee anything. I’ll see if we can get a decision to you in the next few days.”

“Please,” she says quietly. “Please do.”

38

EMERSON

Aweek after we return to Saroe, I wake up with that heavy knowing in my bones. I bring a hand to my stomach, feeling a patter of anxiety begin to flutter in my chest. Today is my rite.

I turn in bed to look at Kieran, fast asleep next to me. His red-brown hair is half over his face, swaying slightly with each exhale. I bring my fingers up to brush it out of the way, behind his ear.

“Kiyyuni,” I whisper, and kiss his cheek. He turns but doesn’t wake up. Swallowing my nerves, I slip out of bed, changing my clothes and heading downstairs.

When I get to the kitchen, I see Gabe’s already made breakfast. The stove is piled high with eggs and sausage, and there’s a pitcher of protein-heavy Fakari yogurt on the counter. Saga’s sitting by herself at the kitchen table.

“Heij, morning,” I say, coming in. “I guess you told Gabe?”

“Yes, and he was nice enough to make all this for us.”

I nod, looking at the display. I haven’t seen much of Gabe the last few days—he keeps going off to spend time alone. Something’s up, clearly, but here he still is, taking care of us. I start preparing a plate as Saga gets my rite salt mix ready.

“And how are you feeling, Emerson? Nervous?”

“Honestly, yeah,” I say, glancing over my shoulder at her. “I don’t know. It’s really happening. I don’t think I really thought I’d get here, somehow. Did you feel that way?”

She thinks for a moment, then shakes her head. “Nekka. I was laser-focused back then. I felt I had something to prove.”

I nod. “Yeah. I want to prove myself. But still, all of this... it’s a big change for me from where I was a few months ago.”

“Well, the boys tell me you’ve come a long way in six and a half weeks,” she says as I walk to the table with my plate. “Both in trainingandhealing. But from one healer to another, be thoughtful with your healing in the ring today.”

“Yeah?” I ask, sitting down.

She nods. “You can use it to your advantage, but healing work is exhausting, too. The more of your healing energy you expend, the less you’ll have left to fight. So be wise with how much you use. Don’t use it unless you really have to.”

“Okay.Takka. I’ll be careful.”

She smiles at me and reaches out to put her hand on mine. “You’re the first healer to go into the ring since my rite, thirty years ago. I’m so proud of you.”

I swallow, thinking of my mom. I wonder if she’d be proud. I hope to find out tonight.

---