Page 72 of His

“I thought you were going to kill someone else.”

“I wasn’t.”

“And I wasn’t dead. Even if I was, what does it matter?”

“Kat—”

My name sounded so strange coming out of his mouth. Especially now that he looked at me with such tenderness.

“We had a deal. A trade.”

“Only for one day—”

“It scared me so much,” I said, interrupting him. I couldn’t stop now. We had to talk about this, or else every time he left I would be met with the same terror, the same panic attack. “When you left, I couldn’t even breathe. Unless you can get me more pills—”

“I can’t.”

“Then you can’t go out like that. You can’t kill anyone else. We had a trade, remember? We should be able to trade again.”

“It was a fair trade. Being with you… it helps drive the urge away. It’s not quite the same, the thrill of it, but… but it’s close. It helps.”

“You said there were other girls.”

“Not anymore,” he said. “I can’t exactly bring women home anymore. Not with you here.”

“No, but couldn’t you, you know? Go back to their place instead?”

Even as I spoke the words, a thick band of jealousy wrapped around my heart. I tried to let it go. I hated Gav, at least that’s what I told myself. But even sitting here, I could feel his desire radiating out toward me. I could feel my own attraction, too, entwined with his.

He shook his head, as though dismissing a long-considered possibility.

“It’s not the same. With them, it’s only a sexual release. With you, there’s—I can’t explain. There’s a brightness to it.”

He touched my hand, his fingers slipping under my palm.

“Maybe it’s the idea that you’re mine. Forever. That I can do what I want with you. That I can kill you, if I want. Even if I wouldn’t. Iwouldn’t.” He spoke the last words quickly, squeezing my hand in his. “Whatever it is, it makes it go away. The urge.”

I shivered. This,thiswas what I wanted? It couldn’t be. And yet I did not draw my hand away from his.

“I talked with your friend. She misses you.”

I was so shocked that I almost dropped the towel. I clenched the terrycloth to my chest.

“She said you were a great person. Really smart. She wished she had told you that before you left.”

“Does she think I ran away?”

“No.”

I nodded sadly. Jules was the one person I knew would take up for me. She knew why I had run away before. As I thought about her, my eyes burned with tears. I would never see her again, not as long as I was stuck here.

Gav sat, watching me, his hand warm under mine.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. He dropped his gaze to my fingers. His thumb, muscled and thick, rolled around my small fingers, squeezing them.

“I don’t know. I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“I can’t stay here.”

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