Page 71 of His

“It’s alright,” I said. “Don’t be afraid. I’m here. It’s alright.”

Kat

The water in the bath was so cold that when I woke up I thought I was drowning in an icy lake. Gav held me against his chest and I sucked in deep breaths, trying to comfort myself. Trying not to panic. The world refocused in my vision.

Finally I got control of my breathing, and I sat up with Gav’s help in the bath. Goosebumps ran down my arms and legs, and I shivered, reaching forward to turn off the cold water. Gav saw what I was reaching for and turned on the hot water instead. I lay back and took deep breaths as the water in the tub warmed up.

“What happened?” I asked, looking up.

“I might ask the same of you,” he said.

I shook my head. My hands and feet felt numb, but with the new warm water they were beginning to tingle with feeling.

“I… I passed out. I was having a panic attack. I—”

Immediately the reason for my panic attack struck me again. Fear closed around my throat, clenching shut my windpipe.

“Did you kill him?” I asked.

“Who?”

Gav stared at me dumbly. I grabbed his arm, my fingers digging into his skin.

“The man. Did you kill him?”

“No. Kat, are you alright? I’m so sorry I left you for so long. I didn’t even think—I thought I’d be back before you woke up—”

“You didn’t kidnap him? That wasn’t why you left last night?”

Gav shook his head. I breathed out, my shoulders relaxing.

“I went to the library to get more books,” he said. “And when I came back, I saw you there…”

He looked so different. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was until he spoke again.

“I thought you were dead,” he said. And then I realized what it was.

It was emotion.

I reached out my hand and touched his cheek. How strange, that emotion can change a person’s face so much. His eyes looked softer around the edges, deeper somehow. Then I drew my hand back. He had gotten me drunk, tied me up. Left me tied up in bed while he went out. No matter how much relief I felt, it wasn’t enough to forgive him for everything he had done. For all the things he had done.

“Let me clean up,” I said, realizing that I’d pissed all over myself before passing out. The smell came through my nostrils and I was shocked to realize I hadn’t even noticed it before. “The bed—”

“I’ll get it. Don’t worry. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. It was just a panic attack. I hyperventilated. I’ll be okay.”

“Don’t lock the bathroom door, alright? I want to make sure you’re not going to pass out again.”

A bubble of laughter rose up in my throat. A serial killer, a maniac, a man who had kidnapped me and tied me up in his basement—he was telling me not to lock the door behind me? It was so ridiculous I could scream. Instead I nodded and pulled my knees up to my chest.

I let the bathtub drain as I pulled the dress off of me. The fabric was wet and heavy, clinging to my skin, but there was no way I was asking Gavriel to come back in and help me out of it. He’d done enough already.

The hot water I splashed over myself felt so good that I lingered while soaping myself, cross-legged in the bottom of the tub. Gav called into the bathroom once, and I answered him, but other than that he left me alone.

I wrapped a towel and came out to see him sitting on the bed. The sheets had been changed out, and there was a new bedspread across the mattress, this one a light green. He looked up at me as though I was a ghost. I sat down on the bed, my heart thumping. I didn’t know whether I was more relieved or angry.

“I thought you were dead,” he repeated.

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