Page 84 of XOXO

I hesitate, unsure if I should leave.

“Why are you standing by the door? Come inside. Sit down.” He says the words politely, in jondaemal, but his tone sounds more like a command than a request.

I sit down on one of the swivel chairs across from him.

“Jaewoo went down to pick up the food,” he explains.

I nod, placing my hands on my knees. Silence ensues, with him just looking at me, his expression unreadable. Of the fourmembers, he’s the one I know the least about.

“I’m Jenny,” I say, scrambling to fill the silence. “We’ve never met formally. I’m a classmate of Jaewoo’s.”

“Jaewoo’s never brought a classmate to the studio before. You must be special to him.”

Usually such kind words would be accompanied with a smile, but Sun’s expression gives nothing away.

“He’s been a good friend to me,” I say carefully. “I transferred to SAA from a school in LA because of a family situation. It would have been hard to adjust to a new school, if it weren’t for him.”

“Jaewoo’s a good kid. Responsible, kindhearted, besides being incredibly talented.”

I nod vigorously.

“He means so much to a lot of people,” Sun continues, “not just to his family, of course, but to everyone here at Joah. He started training at the company when he was twelve years old. It’s been difficult for him, away from his family for all those years. But he kept on working hard. He’d spend hours in the studio training his body and voice.

“Everything he has now, he’s earned through hard work and dedication. He’s in a good place, and his talent will only bring him more opportunities, bring him more fans who will support him. He has a bright future ahead of him. It would be a shame if he lost it all now.

“And he could, if he’s not careful. It only takes one mistake.”

I can hardly breathe; it’s like my whole body has frozen over.

“A few months in Korea,” Sun says. “What a fun time for you, an adventure. It’ll be a good memory when you return home.”

Standing, he nods at me. “XOXO was meant to record a radio show today, did you know? But we had to cancel because Jaewoo said he couldn’t make it. How odd, that he’d back out of something we’d scheduled weeks in advance. I have to go make apologies on behalf of the group. Of course that’s my job as the leader, to protect the members. I’ll always protect them, even from themselves.”

By the time Jaewoo returns, Sun has left. I follow him to where he’s laid out the takeout food on a table in the kitchen. He’s ordered everything I’d asked for: jjajangmyeon, a chocolate-fudge sundae, and both breakfast and dessert waffles because he wasn’t sure which kinds I wanted.

A few trainees walk in and join us for the meal. I listen and laugh and pretend like everything’s fine.

Afterward, Jaewoo walks me to the lobby.

“Thanks for coming by today,” he says. “It was good to see you. Sorry I haven’t been around—”

“Jaewoo,” I interrupt, Sun’s words still ringing in my mind. “I don’t want you to... pass up opportunities because you, I don’t know, think you’re being a bad boyfriend.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Like today. You should have gone to the radio show.”

He frowns. “How do you know about that?”

“I just don’t want you to... to risk your career because of me.”

“What are you... that’s not...”

He reaches for me and then realizing what he’s doing, drops his hand. Across the lobby, the receptionists are watching us. A look of frustration passes over his face. “I don’t know what this is about, but you don’t have to worry about my... career. I know what I’m doing. I know what I want.”

My heart is racing and I feel on the verge of tears. “I’ll text you when I get back to the dorms, okay?”

He watches me a second, and then finally nods. “Okay.”

---