Page 98 of Butter My Biscuit

“And this is why we’re great friends,” I offer, glancing at her, realizing she and Harrison have the same mannerisms. I guess all the Valentines do.

I miss him, but I asked for this, so it’s time for me to shut the fuck up and quit crying about it. I’m even annoying myself.

When I walk into my room, I see the photo album he gave me for Christmas on my dresser. I mosey over and grab it. Moving back to my bed, I open it up. Page by page, I flip through it, glancing over the pictures we’ve taken together, all the memories and holidays. Wherever one of us was, the other was right there.

Once I go through it twice, I move it over and then grab my laptop. Then, I decide to open the anonymous form and submit my first question to Dear Kinsley.

As my fingers rest on the keyboard, I close my eyes, not even knowing where to begin. Too much information, and she’ll figure it out. Not enough, and she won’t choose it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I search for all the courage I have left.

“Fearless,” I whisper.

Dear Kinsley,

That dreaded cursor continues to haunt me.

I’m in love with my best friend.

I read how stupid that sounds.

And I don’t know how to admit it to myself.

This is boring.

How do I tell them before they get married?

Too much information. I delete it all and shake my head.

Dear Kinsley,

Have you ever known deep down that you’re meant to be with someone but have doubts? I know I can’t live without this person in my life, and the thought of losing them hurts. What do you suggest? Take the risk and potentially lose everything or keep the boundary in place? Do stories like this ever have a happy ending, or do they all end in tragedy?

—It’s Probably Too Late

She’ll have no idea it’s me. And it’s probably best it stays that way. No talk about best friends, no talk about anything. It’s basic, but hopefully not too basic.

I shut my laptop and close my eyes, hoping I’ll fall asleep. As I begin to drift off, I dream about Harrison, and it’s so vivid that I wake up in a panic with a racing heart. Then, I realize that’s the first time I’ve had a dream in …years.

Nothing like getting haunted awake and now asleep.

The Kiss of Death …

Those stupid thoughts need to go away.

Instead of forcing myself back to sleep, I roll over and check the time. It’s only nine. I skipped dinner again and know I have to stop doing that.

So, I get dressed, put on a baseball hat, and grab my keys. The house is quiet and dark, and Remi is already in bed.

I’m half tempted to text Haley and see if she wants to join me for some food, but I know she’s at the bar, having a good time. When I pass Boot Scooting, street parking is full, and it looks like the whole town is there tonight. I continue a few blocks and find a spot in front of the deli. Right now, I’m so thankful that they’re open twenty-four hours. Just kinda sad the Mexican restaurant isn’t.

The sounds of plates clattering and the smell of fried bacon grab my attention when I enter. There aren’t many people inside, and I sit in my favorite booth by the windows. The server greets me, and even though I know I shouldn’t drink a cup of coffee this late, I order one anyway, along with a fat stack of pancakes and extra crispy bacon.

Fuck it all.

As I wait, I slump down in the booth, hoping no one sees me as I log in to the Ranchers Singles site. My notifications are out of control, and over a hundred messages are waiting for me. So, I rest my head on my fist and scroll through, seeing if anyone catches my eye, and that’s when I see I matched with Landon. Again. So, I text him.

Grace

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