Page 20 of Wonderland

“Oh, Babycakes!” Diego’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry. I’m heartbroken that this has happened to you both. I wish I could take the pain away.” The truth was, I welcomed the pain. It was the one thing that made our Little Bean exist. Grieving something that was a beautiful ‘what if’ took all the strength I had to face each day. If I didn’t have Alex by my side, I would have crumpled months ago.

“Diego, you’re making Nat cry. Maybe change the subject!”

“No,” I soothed Alex. “It's okay. I have to be able to talk about it. It’s how we heal.” My therapist had been helping me work through the loss. Who knew that I’d ever need therapy. It was good to be able to express my feelings to someone that wasn’t directly involved, though. I could say whatever I wanted and not feel guilty. Liv had pushed me to go with the help of Alex, and the dark shadows were slowly clearing.

“Well, we’ve got the music award show on Friday! I can keep you busy with dress shopping.” Time with Diego like the old days was just what I needed. “Babycakes, when was the last time you had your ends cut?” Stretching, he took a piece of my hair in his hand. “It’s dry as a bone! This won’t do! Tomorrow I’m taking you for a pamper.” When I rolled my eyes toward Alex, all he did was laugh. It was great to have Diego back for a little while. Something told me he might stay longer than a week.

“What about this one?” Diego pulled a long silver dress and held it against me. “Your olive skin tone always works with silver.” The dress was stunning! “Or maybe we go elegant with black? This will hug that figure of yours.”

“Now I can’t decide!” I chuckled, looking between the two dresses in his hands. “I’ll try them both and let you decide.”

Diego looked at me, shocked. “You’ll let me decide! Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Nat?!” Hitting his arm playfully, I took the dresses from him and headed to the changing room. Diego carried on talking to me while I tried them on. “You do realise there is a high chance that David and Matt will be at this award show, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Alex can handle it. He’s been so distracted with everything that I don’t think it’s even crossed his mind! Did he tell you The Midnight Outcasts got asked to perform! It will be their first live-on-air performance!”

“Yeah, that Cole is a real dish! I wouldn’t mind being sandwiched between him and the drummer! What’s his name?”

“Zach! You are such a tart! His girlfriend, Ava, is really nice. You’ll get to meet her at some point this week. I think we need to educate her on the life of rock stars. She seemed a little lost at the showcase a few months ago.”

“Oh, if she’s dating a drummer it won’t last long. They are always the whore of the group!”

“Alex was an exception then?” I snorted, trying to do the back of the silver dress up. “You’re going to have to come in. I can’t zip this dress up!”

Diego slipped into the dressing room, zipping me up. “Oh, Babycakes! You look stunning! You might have to get them both if the black looks as fabulous as this one! The Bardot neckline always suits you. You have the perfect neck for it!” Looking at myself in the mirror, I knew Diego was right. The shape clung perfectly to my curves, and the silver material had a beautiful shimmer to it! “Try the black and we can make a decision.” He quickly unzipped me and let me change.

The black dress gave me a sexy edge, with its low cut cleavage and slit on one side. If I wanted to make an impression on the red carpet, this would be the dress to wear!

“Alex will get an instant hard on if you wear that dress!” Diego gasped. Looking down at his phone for a second, he gave me a loving look. That had to be Remi messaging him.

“Looks like I’m getting them both then!” Winking, I closed the curtain.

“That’s my girl! I’ll go and look at accessories!” Now I’d started something. I had the feeling this was going to be a long day shopping!

Doing normal things with Diego felt amazing. It was like old times when we arrived back at the mansion, loaded with bags and giggling.

“You two clearly had a good time,” Liv commented as we walked in the lobby. “Alex has been in the recording studio all day.”

“With Kingsley?” I questioned.

“No, alone.” Liv gave me a small smirk. We both knew what that meant. Alex was working on new material! “Gina said everything is fine at the office. Claire dropped a few invoices for Alex to sign earlier.”

“I’ll go and see if Alex needs anything. He loses his sense of time when he’s in his studio.” Liv and Diego went outside toward the pool. Shane was catching up with Ben, who’d bought Diego and me back.

Alex was gently strumming on his guitar when I walked in. There were lots of crumpled pieces of paper around his feet. Oh, he was writing lyrics. He hadn’t noticed me yet. There was something so surreal about watching Alex work on a new song. His voice was humming a melody that sounded beautiful.

“Hey,” I called, not wanting to startle him. Turning, Alex gave me his best panty-dropping smirk. “Liv said you’ve been in here all day. Did you need anything?” Putting his guitar down, he opened his arms to me.

“Just you, Straight Lace. You’re all I need.” I would never get used to sweet Alex! It was hard to believe how different he was these days…how love really had changed him! The moment I slipped into his lap, Alex wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips softly. “How was your shopping trip? Did you find a dress?”

“I found two.”

“Diego can be a force of nature. Your hair looks beautiful, by the way.” Running his hands through it, he twisted a few strands around his fingers. “I haven’t seen you with your hair down for a while.”

“I’m feeling more like myself lately. I’m actually looking forward to the award show.”

“I’m glad to hear that, baby. Maybe you should plan a few trips with Liv once Diego leaves? If getting out of the house is helping, we can plan a few things, too. We could take the bike out. I’ll take us down the coast to that secluded beach we love.” Mmm…that beach. I’d gotten sand in places I didn’t know was possible. “You could even plan something with Diego and Liv. I don’t think he has any intention of running back to New York. The fucker was trying to make me talk about my feelings when you went to bed last night.” Chuckling and looking down at him, I ran my hands through his hair. “If I need to get my feelings out, I come in here. He fucking knows that!”

“How is it going? I heard you humming a new melody.”

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