Page 32 of Searching for Nova

God, I missed him. I missed him so much. Having him here almost doesn’t seem real. He’s not the same as he was before, but the more time I spend with him, the more I see hints of the old Sean coming through. That’s what makes me want to keep seeing him, but I can’t. I won’t put myself through that again.

After studying the menu for at least five minutes, I end up ordering the Oreo shake with the gummy worms. I had to. It’s my favorite cookie and favorite candy in a chocolate shake, my favorite dessert. Easton was right, my favorites haven’t changed. I’m surprised he remembers so much about me. I always thought he’d forget about me, or not remember much about me. We only had a year together, and we were both only five. Most people barely remember being that young.

“What’d you think?” Easton asks as we’re leaving the restaurant.

“You were right. They have the best shakes.”

“You can try a different one next time. I think you’d like the one with peanut butter cups.”

There isn’t going to be a next time, but I don’t tell him that. I’m not sure when I will. Maybe I’ll text him later tonight and tell him I won’t be seeing him again.

We get in his Jeep and I assume he’s taking me home, but we’re going the wrong direction.

“Where are you going?” I ask as he gets on the freeway.

“I thought we’d take a walk. There’s this trail I like that’s just up ahead.”

“I can’t. I need to get home.”

“It’s only five. You don’t have to be home for an hour.”

“I’d rather get home early than listen to Ted complain that he didn’t get his dinner on time.”

“He can’t make his own dinner?”

“I told you, it’s part of the deal. I make the meals and clean the apartment.”

“And he does nothing,” Easton says, sounding annoyed.

“He pays the bills.”

“With what money? He doesn’t work, does he?”

“He’s on disability. He gets checks every month.”

“And money for you, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s not much.”

“It’s more than he’d get if you weren’t living with him,” Easton says under his breath. He pulls off the freeway to a city park. He drives up next to a trail and parks.

“Are you cold?” he asks, noticing me shiver as I get out of the Jeep.

“A little.”

He grabs a hoodie from the back. “Here.” He hands it to me.

It’s gray and soft and smells like him. I sink my arms in the sleeves and instantly feel warmer.

“It’s getting dark,” I say, noticing the sun going down. “I don’t think I want to be walking in the woods in the dark.”

“Then we’ll skip the trail and just go to the park.” He takes my hand and leads me over to the swings. I’m instantly brought back to Liz’s back yard and the swing set where Sean and I spent all our time. Even in the winter, we’d go sit on the swings and talk.

“What do you think?” He points to the swings. “Are we too old?”

I feel my eyes tearing up and turn away, heading back to the parking lot.

“Nova, where are you going?” Easton races up behind me, gently grasping my arm as he comes in front of me. “What’s wrong?”

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