Page 31 of Searching for Nova

I nod and look down. “He never came back. Then, a few months after you left, Ted showed up.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. Even all these years later, this is still hard to talk about. “When Ted came to get me, I thought he was taking me to be with my dad. I was so excited. I didn’t even care that my dad took off and left me. I just wanted him back. But Ted told me he hadn’t heard from my dad in years and that I’d be living with him instead.”

Easton rubs my hand. “What about Liz? Did she tell you anything?”

“Not really. I mean, she told me my dad couldn’t take me, but I didn’t really understand what that meant. I was too young to understand anything other than that the guy picking me up wasn’t my dad. He kind of looked like him, but I didn’t know him, which made him scary.”

“You’d never met your grandfather before then?”

“No. He and my dad didn’t get along so we never went to see him.”

“I get how that would scare you. I’d be scared too.” He rubs my hand again, which feels really nice and makes me realize how much I crave someone’s touch. I don’t mean in a sexual way. I get that with Mateo, and don’t even like it. But this, the way Easton’s gently rubbing my hand? I don’t get touched like that. Nobody holds my hand. Nobody gives me a hug. I didn’t think I needed that stuff, and maybe I don’t, but right now, it’s making me feel better.

I look up at Easton. “Were you scared when those people came to take you?”

“Not really. I’d met them before. Remember when they took me for ice cream?”

“Yeah.” I bite my lip, trying to hold back the emotion that memory brings back. Liz told Sean the people he’d met before were back and wanted to take him for ice cream. I asked if I could go too. Liz told me no, but that we’d have ice cream at home. I told her I didn’t want it. I was too upset after I’d figured out what was happening. Sean was leaving. Those people wouldn’t take him for ice cream unless they wanted to take him for good. And a few weeks later they did.

“They also got you presents,” I say, remembering the basket of toys they brought him.

Easton smiles a little. “You took the dump truck before I even had a chance to play with it.”

“Because you broke the other one.”

He laughs a little. “We were kind of rough on our toys.”

“We were. Liz was probably glad to get rid of us. She didn’t have to keep replacing all the toys.”

Easton gets serious again and grips my hand as his eyes go to mine. “You know she loved you, right?”

I roll my eyes. “She didn’t love me. I wasn’t her kid.”

“Doesn’t matter. She still—”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I take a breath. “How long does the food take? Seems like we’ve been waiting forever.”

Just then, the waitress arrives with our food. The burger is huge and the plate’s overflowing with fries.

“How could anyone eat this much?” I say when the waitress leaves.

“I could eat twice this much,” Easton says, picking up his burger. “I’m a growing boy.” He gives me a smile before biting into his burger.

He cleans his plate before I’m even halfway through my meal.

“I’m not going to have room for a shake,” I say, stuffing some fries in my mouth.

“Then don’t finish it. You need to try a shake. It’s why I brought you here.”

“I can’t just leave this.” I point to all the food left on my plate.

“Why not?” Easton’s looking at me like he doesn’t know what I mean. And once again, I’m reminded how much he’s changed. We spent the first few years of our lives never knowing if or when we’d have food. When we got to the foster home, we’d stuff ourselves during meals, almost to the point of feeling sick, assuming we had to fill up because we might not eat again for days. It took weeks for us to believe what Liz told us—that we’d always have enough food. I still don’t trust that I will. Some days the only meal I get is the school lunch because Ted’s eaten whatever food we had left and we don’t have money for more. So having Easton tell me to toss out almost an entire plate of food really bothers me.

“Can we get a box?” he says to the waitress as she stops by. “And then we’d like to order shakes.”

At least he asked for a to-go box. I feel a little better now that he did that.

“Let me guess,” he says, looking over the shake menu. “Chocolate shake with Oreos topped with whipped cream and gummy worms.”

“You know I’m not five anymore,” I say, smiling as I lean over to look at the menu with him. I could look at my own, but it’s more fun to look with him, and it gives me an excuse to be closer. I shouldn’t want that, but I do. I like being close to him, feeling him next to me.

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