Page 14 of Searching for Nova

Why is he doing this? Why can’t he just let the past stay in the past? He has a new life now, a better life, going to a fancy private school with spoiled rich kids. And seeing the brand new Jeep he was driving, I’m guessing he’soneof those spoiled rich kids. So why does he want to go back to a time when he had nothing? When both our lives were shit? If I had his life, I wouldn’t look back. I’d try to erase those years from my memories.

Maybe he can’t. Maybe he’s like me and can’t make those memories go away. But being around me will just make them stronger. Why would he want that? Why would he want to bring back that pain?

5

Nova

My phone ringsas I go in my room. It’s Mateo calling. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What time you coming over?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“My mom invited you for dinner. She’s making tamales.”

“What time?”

“Six, but you could come over before that if you want. I’m playing video games with my brothers.”

He’s always playing video games, even when we’re supposed to be hanging out. I just sit there, bored, waiting for him to be done. I like Mateo, and think he’s funny, but he’s not boyfriend material. He has no idea how to treat a girl. But to be fair, I’m not sure what I’m expecting. I don’t know how a boyfriend should act, but I know ignoring a girl while you play video games for hours isn’t what she wants.

“There’s a bus that leaves at 5:30,” I say. “That’ll get me there close to six.”

“Okay, see ya.”

“Wait! Can I stay there tonight?”

He sighs. “Nova, you know I don’t do that shit.”

He’s reminding me our relationship is nothing more than a friends-with-benefits thing. Spending the night with him would be something a girlfriend would do, which is not what he wants.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just need a place to crash. Ted’s having a lady over and kicking me out for the night. I could sleep on the couch, or the floor.”

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

“Mateo, seriously? It’s one night. I’ll be gone first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah, I said I’d think about it,” he says, sounding annoyed. “I gotta go. I just got to a new level on the game.” He ends the call.

“Jerk,” I mutter as I change out my uniform.

Mateo and I used to be the type of friends who would go out and do stuff or talk for hours, but sleeping with him changed things. Now that’s all he wants to do.

I wonder what kind of friend Easton would be now that he’s older. Would he be sweet and considerate like he was as a kid? Or has he changed and become more like Mateo—only giving you time when he feels like it?

What would Easton be like as a boyfriend? Wait—why am I thinking about that? He was like a brother to me. So why did he stir up all those feelings in me when I saw him today? Feelings I’d have for a guy I’m attracted to? That’s messed up, and another reason I should stay away from him.

“Nova!” Ted bangs on my door. “Did you go the store?”

“I didn’t have time!” I yell back. “I just got off work.”

He opens my door.

“Ted!” I quickly cover myself with the shirt I just took off. “If the door’s closed, you don’t come in. That’s the rule.”

“I’ve seen that shit before,” he says, waving his hand at me. “I need you to go to the store. Marla’s making dinner and I told her you’d be getting us steaks.”

“I don’t have time. I told Mateo I’d go over there for dinner and I haven’t even showered.”

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