Page 109 of Searching for Nova

“Oh. Well, I’m planning to go, whenever it is.”

“You don’t have to go. You’d have to miss work and take the bus.”

“I don’t care. I want to see you play.”

“I don’t think you’d like it. And it gets cold, sitting in the stands.”

“I already know it’s cold. I work at an ice rink.”

Shit, what do I say? I want her to see me play, but what if she went there and told people we’re dating? It wouldn’t take long to get back to my parents and everyone at school. My parents would yell at me for lying to them about Nova, and people at school would try to get dirt on her. Being the star of the hockey team has its downsides, like people wanting to know everything about you, especially who you’re dating. Paris would be first in line trying to figure out who Nova is, and she’d use what she found out to make Nova look bad.

“Why are you so quiet?” Nova asks. “Do you not want me to go to your game?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking I should get home. I have a paper due tomorrow and I haven’t finished it.”

We get dressed and go out to the living room.

“Had enough of her?” Ted says, staring at the TV.

Nova and I go past him, out to the hall.

“I’m starting to really hate Ted,” I say to Nova as we walk to the elevator.

“Just ignore him. That’s what I do.”

I kiss her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

She smiles. “I love you too.”

Whenever she says that, I’m shocked. I know how hard those words are for her to say, and yet she says them to me. She finally trusts me, or is starting to, so I can’t screw this up. I need to prove to her how much I care about her, and that I’ll be there when she needs me.

This isn’t going to turn out like last time. I’m not going to lose her again.

27

Nova

Thanksgiving Day

Another Thanksgivingalone in my room, but this year, I’m not sad and depressed. Easton’s been over every day this week except Tuesday, when his grandparents got to town. Wednesday, we didn’t have school, so he stopped by in the morning. He brought me breakfast—an egg sandwich, a box of donuts, and a gallon of chocolate milk. The donuts will last through the weekend. I’m having one now with a glass of milk, watching the Thanksgiving day parade on my new TV.

I can’t remember when I’ve ever been this happy. It was probably when Easton and I were kids, but it wasn’t the same. Back then, we had fun, but we were also terrified about what might happen to us. We had no control over our lives. The adults were in charge and could take us away at any time. And they did. But now we’re older, and I don’t have to worry about someone taking me away. When I turn 18, I can do what I want. I’m not even scared of being kicked out of Ted’s apartment anymore.

Rielle and I talked about getting a place together, so that’s an option. Or maybe I’ll do like Easton suggested and get a place near his college. I could get a roommate to help with the rent and work a couple jobs to save up money to get a car.

Since being with Easton, I feel like I have a future. I feel like I suddenly have all these options. They were always there. I just couldn’t see them because I couldn’t see a future. I felt hopeless and stuck, like I couldn’t move forward.

It’s probably too soon to even think this, but I could see Easton and I working out, maybe even getting married someday. We love each other. We get along great. And we understand each other. The understanding part is what makes us feel closer to each other than we’d feel with anyone else. We know what we’ve been through and how it’s affected us. We know what it’s like to lose our parents and be put in foster care. Other people don’t get it. Even when you try to explain it to people, they still don’t get it. It makes you feel like you’re all alone. But I never feel alone when I’m with Easton.

I get my phone out to call him, but then remember his mom took his phone. He won’t get it back until tonight.

Checking the time, I see it’s almost noon. Ted’s going to be yelling for his lunch.

Going to the kitchen, I put my glass in the sink and grab another donut from the box.

“What do you want for lunch?” I say to Ted.

He doesn’t answer. He’s got the TV so loud he can’t hear me.

---