Page 110 of Searching for Nova

I go over to his tray and grab the TV remote, turning the volume down. “You keep this way too loud.” I look over and see that he’s asleep. He doesn’t usually sleep in the morning. He probably drank too much. He has six empty beer cans lined up on his tray.

I take the empty cans to the trash, then open the fridge, trying to figure out what to make him. “You want the leftover steak?” I take it out, along with the spaghetti from last night. “You want it with spaghetti?”

He doesn’t answer.

Going back over to him, I push on his shoulder. “Ted, what do you want? It’s lunch time.”

He doesn’t move. And he’s not snoring. He usually snores when he sleeps.

“Ted?” I shake him a little. “Ted, wake up.”

He doesn’t move, not even a little. I pick up his arm. It’s limp, and cold.

“Ted?” I shake him again. I shove the footrest on his chair down and get in front of him, shaking his shoulders. “Ted! Ted, wake up!” He’s not moving, and his face is pale. “Ted, this isn’t funny! Wake up!” I look around the room, like I’m looking for help, but nobody’s there. I pick up his wrist and feel for a pulse. I get nothing.

“He’s dead,” I whisper, staring at him, not wanting to believe this is really happening.

I back away, shivering like someone just poured ice water on me. I don’t know what to do. What do you do with a dead body? Call the police? An ambulance?

I’ll call an ambulance. Maybe I’m wrong and he’s not really dead. Maybe they could save him.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the operator says.

Shit, what do I say? I’ve never done this before.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Yes! There’s a man who needs help. I think he passed out, but I can’t wake him up. He lives at…” I give her the address.

“And who are you?”

I hang up, my hand trembling. I go back over to Ted and check his wrist again for a pulse but feel nothing.

“Why did you have to die?” I yell, tears running down my face. “Why now? Couldn’t you have waited until I’m 18?”

I drop to the floor, hearing what I just said. I’m not 18. When the ambulance gets here and finds out Ted is gone, they’ll find out I’m alone and call social services. They’ll put me back in foster care.

I won’t do it. I can’t go back there, not now. When I was a kid, I had to go. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t care for myself at that age. And it turned out to be good. I met Sean. And I really liked Liz. She was nice. What if the next people weren’t?

I’m not doing it. I’m not going back to foster care, back through the system.

I jump up from the floor. I have to go talk to Easton. I have to go see him. He’s the only person who’ll know what to do.

Waking up my phone, I look up his address, then grab my coat and yank it on. It’s the coat Easton gave me that belonged to his sister. It’s the only one I have, and I’m grateful he gave it to me or I’d freeze to death. It’s been below zero all week.

“I need keys,” I say, talking to myself. I look at Ted and see the keys in his shirt pocket. “Shit.” I slowly pull the keys from his pocket, trying to forget that he’s dead, but that’s not really something you can forget.

I’m at the door when I realize I should take Ted’s phone. There might be something on it I’ll need. I don’t know what, but I still think I should take it. I go back over to him and find the phone wedged between his leg and the chair. I slide it out, shove it in my pocket, and run out of the apartment.

As I’m leaving the parking lot in Ted’s car, I hear the ambulance sirens. I got out of there just in time.

How did this happen? Ted seemed fine this morning when I gave him his breakfast. And now he’s dead.

It takes over a half hour to get to Easton’s house. It’s way across town and I didn’t want to speed and risk getting pulled over. I check the address again before parking on the street next to a large, two-story brick home. Four cars are parked in the driveway. How many people did they invite over? I thought it was just his family and grandparents.

This is going to be awkward. I’ve never met his family, except his parents, but that was 12 years ago. I wonder if they remembered me when Easton told them we’re dating.

I knock on the door, then notice the doorbell. I wait, and when nobody answers, I ring the doorbell.