Page 9 of Her Reborn Mate

“That depends on whether you come back or not.” I took off his jacket and handed it to him. Bangor was chilly in the evening, but now I was home and didn’t need any more of his chivalry.

“I’ll stop by on the weekend,” he said. “You take care now.”

“You too,” I said, waving at him as he left.

Since I was not on shift, I used the fire exit to get to my apartment. The date was nice. It was just as he had advertised. We went to this strange Italian restaurant where we each had shrimp lasagna paired with red wine. Then we walked along the river and talked as we drank our peach smoothies. Nothing else happened except talking. I refrained from telling him my story. He resorted to making me laugh by telling me odd tales from his life as a poor kid in New York.

I opened the window and stepped inside my dark apartment, feeling tired, feeling a bit relieved at the start of this bizarre new chapter in my life. I could see myself enjoying this life in the long run and even getting over the losses of my past. Today had been a good example of that. What had started as a chaotic day ended on a nice note. Bangor wasn’t all that bad, either.

My hands struggled to find the switchboard. The light was dim in the room, what with the walls being black and it being nighttime, but it was enough for me to make out the outline of the bed, the cabinet, the bathroom door, and a silhouette standing in the corner of the room.

Before I could scream for help, and before I could so much as scamper back through the window, the silhouette walked toward me, stepping into the meek light of the overhead lamp.

I tried to tell myself that this was just my sorrow-addled brain undergoing psychosis. That this could not be real. I was asleep, and this was a nightmare. That could be the only explanation for what I was seeing.

Who I was seeing.

It was Will, standing in front of me, looking as pale as a ghost.

Chapter 4: Will

With my hand wrapped around her mouth and my arm holding her lest she fell, I moved Alexis away from the window and into the darker corner of the room, where her whimpering sounds would be muted.

“I have crawled through hell and beyond to find you,” I said. “And I am relieved to see that you are not dead. Please don’t scream when I remove my hand. It is me. This is not a dream or some hallucination.”

Alexis nodded. I slowly removed my hand from her mouth, then stepped back so that she would register what was happening. It had not been easy for me to track her down and far harder for me to make my way from Fiddler’s Green to this urban hellscape known as Bangor. I had tried time and again to shift, failing each time worse than the last. The only thing that had worked for me when everything else had failed was my bond with her. I could sense she was alive, but that was all I could do then. It wasn’t until I was certain she was alive and somewhere nearby that my bond strengthened and allowed me to find her. It was as if the bond itself was testing me.

“I saw your mouth froth and your skin turn blue. You had no heartbeat. Before I ran for my life, I checked your vitals. You were dead. How the fuck are you still alive then?” Alexis whispered, holding her shocked face with both hands.

“For the longest time, I was dead, or so I thought. It would surprise you to learn that I woke up in my grave. That part about crawling through hell, wasn’t an understatement. I had to dig myself out and witness my defeat from the perspective of a ghost. I saw that Maurice had taken control of the pack again. I visited Vince, who is the only other person who knows that I am alive. Contacting Maliha failed, as she was not in her apartment. Yes. I went there, thinking you were staying with her after I could not find you in the commune.”

“Do you really think that spouting all that shit is going to change what happened?” Alexis asked, now not so much shocked as she was gripped with rage. Her eyes were seething, and her cheeks had flushed red.

“What are you talking about? I’m not dead, and you’re not dead. Somehow we’re both miraculously in one piece. Does that not make you feel a little bit relieved? I would only imagine that you must have felt some loss or sorrow when I presumably died!” I snapped.

“You do not get to raise your voice at me. Not now, not ever!” Alexis yelled. “Not after what you did. Or perhaps conveniently enough, you don’t remember?”

“What did I do that warrants such hostile treatment?” I asked, utterly confused as to why she was giving me the mother of all cold shoulders. I had been dreading for her life ever since I had woken up, and here she was, out with some strange man, living comfortably in this place, not even a full day after the fiasco that had taken place at Beckett Tower.

“You said her name!” Alexis said, her voice still loud but not as much as before. “You were dying, I was holding you, and you said ‘Ariana!” Not Alexis. Not that you loved me. Not anything else. All you ever fucking uttered was her name. Did you even love me at any point? Or was I just a proxy surrogate knockoff of my grandmother for you all this time? Is that all this was?”

“I can see that you are rattled. Believe me I am just as shaken. But the thing is, I didn’t call out her name in the way you think. You’re wrong about all of that. You didn’t die. I died at least for a short while. You don’t know what happened to me. I was in the afterlife, in the realm of souls. That’s when I said her name. she beckoned me to join her and my forefathers on the plain of spirits. I refused. I told her I could not, not while I had unfinished business back on earth. Not while I still loved Alexis. I came back for you!” I said, hoping beyond hope that she would sense the truth and earnestness in my voice and believe me, for every word I uttered was completely honest and exactly what had happened.

“I don’t buy it,” Alexis said. She was not holding her face any longer. Her arms were crossed defensively in front of her, and she was glaring at me. There was not a shred of mercy in her eyes nor a gleam of relief on her face. My bond had led me to her, but now, my bond was just as cold as the stare she was giving me. I did not expect such cruelty.

“You must be under duress. You have been through much. I can see that. You’re hurt. But please, don’t be this way,” I pleaded, hoping that she would understand.

“Did you know what happened when I came here? A kind woman gave me living quarters for free. Well, I am going to work as a bartender for her, but still, no one did anything like that for me in Fiddler’s Green. A handsome guy behaved with me nicely. Took me out and treated me to dinner, laughter, and a good time. Nothing like that happened in Fiddler’s Green. I was walking with him in the street, and someone gave me a rose, saying I looked lovely. The only shit that has happened to me so far in Bangor has been the shit that I dragged in through my heels when I came here. Vampires. But I was protected by people I barely know. Can you recall how many times that has happened to me in Fiddler’s Green? Zero. I feel like I deserve this after my fucked-up existence in Fiddler’s Green. It only took me all my life to realize that. I deserve love, kindness, respect, and gentleness.”

“I love you,” I said bleakly.

“Your love is dangerous, Will. You shattered me by dying on me, and what was left of the shards of my heart, you stomped on them by saying her name instead of mine, leading me to doubt if you’d ever loved me to begin with. Your love came with the baggage of dealing with your past, your revenge on your enemies, and your grandiose scheme to rid Fiddler’s Green of all evil. It can’t happen, Will. Sometimes you just gotta eliminate yourself from the equation if the odds are not in your favor. You never understood that. Instead, you dragged me with you, made me witness your death, and then…ugh!” she said.

I couldn’t fathom that this was coming from her. Just two or three days ago, we had been fishing on my boat, telling each other that we loved each other and how we’d live a long and happy life together once everything would be fine. Had I known then that the consequences of my actions would be this extreme, I would never have attacked Blair and Maurice, and Ralph.

“Are you rejecting me?” I asked fearfully, not wanting her to answer or wanting to remain suspended in this emotional limbo.

“You died, Will! How was I to reject you when you rejected me first by saying her name and then dying on me? I mourned. I cried and wept and dragged my dying body to another city. I vowed to myself that I’d somehow take revenge for your death. When you died, I felt like I was responsible for it. It was twenty-four hours of going through the emotional wringer for me. And when I return to some semblance of normalcy, you’re asking me if I rejected you?” she said. “I am heartbroken and wounded. For what it's worth, I think that you’re bullshitting me into thinking that you were on that afterlife plain or whatever it was you said. I think you’re just coming up with excuses.”

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