Page 79 of Ruined (The Knights of Ruin)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Cat

I PICKED ANNIE up from the sitter and brought her home, gave her dinner and a bath, tucked her into bed, trying to act like nothing was wrong. Like I didn’t have an empty hole in the centre of my chest where Smoke had ripped out my heart and flung it onto the floor, grinding it into nothing under his heel.

I didn’t know how I was going to manage without him in my life. He’d been my friend for so long that I couldn’t imagine him not being there. And the past couple of weeks, when he’d been more than just a friend... God, thinking about them only made the loss more painful.

I loved him, but for some reason that wasn’t enough, and now he’d gone.

Once again I’d lost everything.

It hurt so much.

I knew eventually I’d pull myself up and start again, like I always did. Find my feet and get my life back together again. Figure out what I was going to do about Justin—all that shit. But right now it felt like it was all too much.

Right now all I wanted to do was cry.

I sat on the couch with a pillow in the time-honoured fashion, curling around my pain. And then I saw the ring box sitting on the coffee table, and that sank the knife even deeper into what remained of my heart.

It was all I had left of him, that ring. He’d taken everything else.

I reached for the box, opened it and looked down at the little cat face with its glowing green eyes. It was perfect. So perfect.

A tear slid down my nose, splashing on top of the silver band, making the eyes sparkle.

Had my taking it off pushed him over the edge? Was that why he’d walked away? Perhaps if I’d left it on, everything would have been different and I wouldn’t be sitting here, sobbing on my couch with my heart in pieces.

The sound of the front door’s handle turning came suddenly from out in the hallway and my whole body went cold. No one but me had a key, and unless Justin had somehow managed to—

The living room door slammed open, bouncing on its hinges. Smoke stood in the doorway.

And I found there must be something left of my heart after all, because it was racing and throbbing and hurting. And my body wasn’t cold any more, but burning hot.

Smoke’s dark gaze found mine, and the look on his face was searing in its intensity.

I opened my mouth to say something, though I had no idea what.

I never got the chance. Because Smoke strode over to where I sat and before I even understood what he intended to do he swept me up into his arms, and his mouth was coming down on mine.

It was a hungry, desperate, demanding kiss. It was hot and it was raw, and when I tried to pull away, he gripped me hard, holding me still. Kissing me and kissing me and kissing me, as if he was afraid to stop.

All I could do was let him devour me, with my hands pinned to the hard wall of his chest, feeling the frantic beating of his heart against my palms matching my own.

It felt like forever before he finally lifted his head, staring down at me with those familiar dark eyes. Full of heat. Full of desire.

‘I was such a fucking coward, Cat,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I should never have walked out on you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry for turning my back on you.’

He lifted his hands, cupping my face, his thumbs stroking lightly along the side of my jaw, making me shiver. Making me tremble.

‘But most of all I’m sorry for being such a little bitch and not telling you how I feel.’

I couldn’t speak. My throat was too tight—every part of my body was too tight. I didn’t want to move in case this was a dream and he’d vanish, leaving me being held by nothing but empty air.

‘I thought I was protecting you,’ he went on, his voice dark and ragged. ‘But I wasn’t, kitten. The only person I was protecting was myself. Keep put me straight about a few things and that was one of them.’

‘Why?’ I finally managed to ask shakily. ‘What did you need to protect yourself from?’

‘What do you think?’

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