“Will you teach me how to swing?” he asked.
I nodded. Why not? Tommy agreed that it would be fun. We substituted a big breakfast for cereal before getting dressed, and less than an hour later, we were on the road, headed toward the golf course.
Mark was already there when we arrived, wearing his golfing attire. Mark didn’t work, so he played a lot more than I did, and he wore all the right clothes. He was a walking ambassador for the sport. I doubted Nina believed that he did it for business reasons, as Mark tried to claim. She wasn’t a stupid woman.
But that was what love was, wasn’t it? Making compromises and turning a blind eye to someone’s flaws from time to time. Or maybe it was seeing their flaws and loving them anyway.
It made me think about Danielle again, about perhaps ignoring her age and seeing if there was something there between us. Something real. It would be easy to keep it secret because she worked for me. Who would know we weren’t only working together?
But it wasn’t that simple. If it came out–and it inevitably would because someone always found out–it wasn’t only my friendship with Mark that would be over. It would be my reputation, too. The media would eat it up, and it could mean the downfall of the company if it came out so close to the launch of a new program. The investors would pull funding, people would turn their backs on me, and life would get messy.
I was so confused. I wanted to be with Danielle. In a very short time, she had come to mean a lot to me. Still, I wanted to save my company, my friendship, and my reputation. The price for my own personal happiness was too steep.
Mark approached me with a big grin on his face and his arms outstretched to Tommy. I pushed the thoughts away. I couldn’t do it to my friend. Mark had been there through thick and thin, and this was how I would repay him?
“The course looks good,” Mark said after hugging Tommy. “I was just out there.” He looked up. “And the weather is a stunner, not too hot and not too cold. Perfect day to do this, eh?”
He nudged me, and I forced a smile, nodding.
We headed out onto the course. We played one hole after the other. I showed Tommy how to swing, and he had a blast on the golf cart Mark had rented because he refused to walk so far. I was having a good time, too, but I was distracted. I was nervous around Mark, even though there was no way he could have known about me and Danielle.
We had played seven holes when Mark stopped planning his swing and turned to me, leaning on his golf club.
“What’s up with you today?” he asked me.
I frowned. My stomach twisted a little. “What do you mean?”
“You’re very distracted today. You’re not usually like this on the course. This is supposed to be an escape.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, buying myself time to think. I wasn’t about to tell Mark that I was thinking about the amazing sex I’d had with his daughter.
“I’m preoccupied with work,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
Mark narrowed his eyes at me, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if he bought it. I was worried he would see through me. This was what happened when you harbored a secret, I scolded myself. Punishment in the form of not being able to relax.
“Is something wrong with the company?” Mark asked. “Something I should be worried about as an investor?”
Only as a father. “No,” I said. “Nothing to worry about. Why?”
“Because this morning, I spoke to Danielle, and she’s as quiet as you are. When I asked her what was wrong, she said the same thing, that she’s caught up in work.”
Shit. She was thinking about me the same way I thought about her. I didn’t know if I should feel flattered or worried about it. It was great to know she felt the same way about me as I felt about her, but it also meant this situation was way more complicated than I wanted it to be. If I was the only one catching feelings after our time together, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as if she was falling for me, too. I never meant to drag her into this so deeply, but then again, it took both of us to do what we did.
I forced these thoughts away and focused on my conversation with Mark. “No, everything’s fine. It’s just a bit of pressure with the new program and the extended deadlines, that’s all. My developers are worried it might affect the initial wave after the release. When they worry, I worry. And when I worry, I suppose it rubs off on Danielle as my secretary.”
I was impressed by the lie I had plucked out of thin air. It sounded real to me, even though I knew it was bullshit. Lying to Mark about his daughter wasn’t something I should have been proud about, but it was better than him knowing the truth.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Mark asked.
Shit, he wasn’t buying it.
“Dad,” Tommy interrupted. He had one of my clubs, and he’d been trying to work on his swing by himself. “I don’t think I’m doing it right.”
“Here, let me help you, buddy,” I said, all too happy for the interruption. I didn’t know what to say to Mark. I didn’t know what else to tell him. He wasn’t an employee or a partner, but he was an investor, and the investors knew what was going on in the company. It wasn’t so easy to spin a story about work if it wasn’t work that was the problem.
I was relieved Tommy was with us. I didn’t always like bringing him to the golf course because he often got bored and that just made me feel like a shitty parent. Now that he was older, he could join in, and he didn’t complain about being bored or it being too hot in the sun. This time, he was saving my ass as well, and I was glad about that.
“How about you let me show you what to do,” Mark said to Tommy. “I’ve beaten your dad more times than I can count.”
He laughed, taking the golf club from me to show Tommy the proper technique.
“Only because I let you,” I joked, taking the bait. I would be the butt of jokes for the rest of the day if it meant it diverting Mark away from the topic of work and Danielle and why I was so distracted.
We joked around and showed Tommy what to do for a while. Then, we got into the cart once we had taken our swings, and we moved on to the next hole. I thought about Danielle again, wondering what she was doing, but this time, I put the thought out of my mind, pushing it as far away as I could. I had to keep my head in the game today and be responsive. I couldn’t afford to have Mark asking me what was up again.
The second time around, I didn’t think I would be able to lie as well as I had done the first time, and I hated that I had put myself in a position where I needed to lie to my oldest friend.