Page 16 of Your Soul Is Ours

“Always. Anyone for you.” She doesn’t say anything until we’re in her apartment. I don’t want to expose the truth about myself unless she is truly ready to go ahead with this.

“How would we do it?” Her question bounces around inside my head as we lay out the tacos on the coffee table, sitting across from each other on the floor. Excitement runs through her eyes. I want to give her all the power. “What happened before?”

“She didn’t like my first boyfriend and threatened to kill herself. Told everyone it would be my fault if she did it. I didn’t break up with him and she sent me her suicide note and disappeared for a few days. When I broke up with him, she reappeared and then her words got worse for a while.”

I stare at her. “That is fucked. That is next-level fucked.” She doesn’t say anything, and we eat in silence for a while. I thinkover what she’s said, and my stomach drops for how she must have felt. “Do you still have the note?”

“Yeah, somewhere. She dropped it in my mailbox. Is that how we could do it?”

I nod, knowing it won’t be a huge mess, which she probably doesn’t want to see. “We could stage a suicide, if you can stand another dinner with her.”

She nods as she looks down at her phone. “Thank you. I really need this. Her love for me has always been nonexistent, and our relationship has been constantly negative. It's clear that things will never change. If she didn’t exist, then I think I could finally heal.”

It’s all I want for her. While she cleans up from dinner, I grab two cigarettes, walk outside, and light them.

“I know this is the right move. It makes me feel hopeful, almost giddy. Like I can’t believe I’m going to get back my life and re-take my power from her.” She bites her lip and looks incredibly sexy as she takes a drag and looks into my eyes.

“All I want is for you to feel the best you can. Thank you for sticking up for me. No one ever has.” She stubs out her smoke and grabs my hand. I barely have time to flick mine into the ashtray. “I want to show you how appreciative I am.”

We don’t stop until we’re in her bedroom. She pulls her dress off and her lithe body is so perfect I could shed a tear. This is the first time she’s bared herself to me entirely.

I rip my shirt over my head as I walk towards her. My hands cup either side of her face as my lips meet hers. Her arms wrap around my back, drawing me closer. Pulling away from her, I feather kisses along her jawline, dipping my head to her neck.

Her nails dig into my back as she lets out a soft moan. As we move backward, I guide her until her back touches the wall, and then I kneel in front of her. I gaze into Marla's eyes, desire ignites within them as I trail kisses along her thighs, drawingcloser to her panties. I hook my fingers into the sides and pull them down her legs, lifting one to rest on my shoulder as I explore her. With her hand tightly gripping my hair, I bring my mouth closer to her core, parting her with my tongue. As I delve deeper, I inhale her sweet scent.

“Yes, please. Fuck,” she mumbles as I lick her slit, using my hand to open her further. I fuck her with my tongue, rubbing her clit with my thumb. I lick her until her thighs tremble and she’s coming all over my tongue.

“Beautiful,” I say through my gritted teeth. I’m painfully hard and want to fuck her. As I stand, I turn her around, pressing her against the wall. I quickly undo my belt and drop my pants. I slide into her, slowly allowing her to get used to the size, and then I fuck her harder. My hand snakes around to her throat, holding her in place as I slam into her. My other hand roams over her perfect tits. Having her at my mercy is one thing I’ve ached to have for so fucking long. Her body tenses and she comes all over my cock.

I drag myself out of her tightness. “Get on your knees for me, Marla.” She turns and obeys. Her mouth explores the head of my dick, but I’m so close to the edge I can’t handle it. I put my fingers through her hair and slide into her mouth. Her tongue is everywhere, and I lose it in the back of her throat.

“So, fucking perfect,” I breathe heavily as I pull her up. Dipping my head, I kiss her. Tasting us both in her mouth might be my favourite flavour. “I really fucking like you, my dove.”

She smiles and bites her lip as she turns away to grab a shirt from her drawer. “I really fucking like you,” she says before walking out of the room.

Eleven

Marla

It’s been a week of playing the same game with my mother: the makeup game. Text messages and calls to pretend I’m the dutiful perfect daughter that she can control so perfectly. It isn’t so hard, I’ve been that way my entire life. But this is the first timeI’ve really wanted to stand up for what is best for me. Sebastian is what I need in my life. He makes the demons in my head fade away. The darkness inside of me isn’t as active with him around.

The thought of killing her seemed ludicrous at first, but it was planted like a little seed in the back of my mind, and every time she would dig at me, the words that cut my soul a little more, the seed grew until that dinner with him and the way she acted. Talking about me like I was a child in front of him, saying horrible things about him. I’m sure she’s already messaged the family text thread that she is going to off herself.

I found the note from the last time and, as I think of what might happen, my stomach rolls. All I’ve ever wanted was for her to be proud of me, acknowledge all the pain she’s caused me and apologize but I know she isn’t capable of remorse, or change.

I’ve been at the mental health centre most of the day, going over everything in my head, overthinking every angle. Sebastian said that he will drop me off near her house and wait for me to text him that I’ve dropped the light sedative in her drink. Today feels like an eternity as the hours sluggishly crawl by. The gravity of the situation is setting in. This is really going to happen. Bursting with excitement, every second feels like a lifetime. The air in the centre is saturated with the sharp, chemical smell of aseptic cleaner, which becomes suffocating as the day goes on.

“It smells terrible in here today. I mean, sure, sometimes it smells like no one showers, or has pissed their pants, but this is by far the worst.” The voice comes from the girl I saw last week. Her long blonde hair is braided today and a black hoodie hangs off her. It’s far too warm out to be wearing one, but I don’t question it.

“I’m Marla. Nice to meet you.” I know we aren’t supposed to be in here making friends, but I keep my voice hushed.

“I’m Jess. Nice to meet you. Well, as nice as being here can be.” I nod.

“How long have you been coming here?” she asks.

I think for a minute. “I think about six months.” Her eyes widen, likely thinking the same thing I do every day. I’m never going to get the fucking help I need.

“I’m sorry. I hope they call your number soon.” Just as the words are out of her mouth, the lady stands with the PA system and says they are done for the day.

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