Page 12 of The Wolf's Surrogate

Patricia calmly set the clipboard down and sanitized her hands. “Whatever makes you more comfortable. Would you like to hand Liam your bag?”

I stared at her for a second before realizing that Liam had his arms outstretched. A quick nod later, I shed my coat and handed it over along with my tote. I felt naked without my trusty bag hanging from my shoulder. I stood stiffly until he set my things aside and took my hand.

Calm energy washed over me instantly. Nothing like this feeling existed anywhere else. I didn’t have to worry anymore. I was in good hands—both with Patricia and Liam. Though I wasn’t sure where that reassurance came from, I knew it to be true. Everything would be alright. Maybe it would even be brilliant.

After a round of vitals, Patricia ushered Liam to the door. “There’s a gown on the counter behind you. Take your time, Anita.”

I locked eyes with Liam as he left. My heart skipped a beat. Neither of us looked away until the door was completely shut. At this point, my movements became mechanical. It was like I was trying to sprint while I was asleep. My muscles knew what to do yet kept encountering resistance.

Thankfully, autopilot was skilled at undressing without thinking about it. As soon as I got out of my warm clothes, I put on the medical gown, the same kind they gave out to people at the hospital where the back hung open.Major cringe. Still, I pulled the thing on and tried to pretend it was a luscious silkrobe instead of a soft cotton gown in the worst puke-green color imaginable.

A knock came from the door.

I cleared my throat a couple of times. “Come in.”

Patricia and Liam reappeared. I tried to avoid looking at him this time, unsure of how to professionally proceed. This was such a delicate procedure. There was no guarantee it would work in this initial round. Some people needed more time on the IVF medications while others absorbed sperm like a sponge.

That was how my research had phrased it, anyway. I could always hope for a quick and painless experience. Maybe it wouldn’t be as awkward as I’d made it seem while walking in here.

“Liam, if you wouldn’t mind standing on the right over there—excellent. Thank you.” Patricia sanitized her hands again before putting on a pair of blue nitrile gloves. “Anita, lie back for me—scoot your bottom forward—that’s great.”

Metal clicks erupted as I lay back. Patricia gently guided my right foot to a stirrup, then my left foot to the other stirrup. Cold air flooded my slit, causing me to shiver.

Patricia maneuvered a large light over her shoulder. “Sorry, I know it’s not the ideal temperature in here. But you’ll be done in just a few minutes. Try to relax.”

I clasped my hands together over my belly. Sweat coated my palms. Had I been sweating the whole time, or had I just started? The seconds dragged on as I glanced furtively at Liam.

He rested his hand over my folded hands. “Just breathe. You’re doing great.”

“You’ll feel my hand first—” And I did. “It might be cold—and some pressure—”

I hissed. “I’m sure this doesn’t look very brave.”

Liam squeezed my hands. “It’s braver than you know.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Close your eyes, Anita. It’s going to be okay.”

The silky threads of his voice lulled me into a serene state. Without missing a beat, I closed my eyes and relaxed into my reclined position. Moments later, Patricia announced that she was done and brought the stirrups together so my knees were touching.

When I pried open one eye, I saw Patricia giving me a calm grin. She waited patiently for me to open my other eye, and then invited Liam to sit down.

She sighed with accomplishment. “The hard part is done. Now for the tough part.”

My head snapped up. “What?”

She waved for me to settle down. “I’m merely joking, Anita. The tough part is usually just waiting for the sperm to get to where it’s going.”

I slumped with relief. “Oh, that makes sense. I remember that now.”

I rubbed my forehead. Parts of the process came to mind, just like she’d told me two weeks ago. Once the sperm was planted, I had to elevate my hips and wait about twenty minutes for biology to do its thing.

My face got hotter than a black car sitting out in the summer sun. “Does it work faster when we don’t watch?”

Liam burst with laughter while Patricia offered me a wavering smile. I got the impression that she was trying to stay professional while he busted a gut next to me. After several seconds of attempting to keep her chuckles intact, she let them go, joining the awkward notes filling the medical room.

At this point, I wasn’t feeling embarrassed anymore. The guy holding my hand was paying me to have his sperm inserted inside me while he basically watched. Nothing could get more awkward than this moment even if I tried.

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