Page 36 of From the Darkness

“Head start Inspector!” I yell and reach Fire and Eagle, grabbing Amelia from the arms of Lucas and squeeze her to my chest.

“Hey inspector!” I shout and watch as his head lifts and his eyes scan me and mine before I continue “What would you do if your every reason to breathe was hurt, and that person kept coming after them. Head start Inspector.”

I watch him nod his head and say something to the boys in blue before walking away. When he stops and looks back, he states, “Give me a two-day head start. I understand where you are coming from.” Then storms away.

“Drills, when those fuckers are caught. I am going to beat the ever lovin’ fuck out of them,” Eagles growls.

“Put tires around them and set those fuckers on fire,” Fire states and me and Lucas look down at her shock written all over our faces.

“Our woman has an evil streak.” Lucas smiles at her and runs his hand down her cheek and then picks up her hand, linking his fingers with hers.

“Yeah, she does, and it makes me hard,” I growl and plant my lips on hers. She moans into my mouth as I take the kiss deeper, and then cold water is splashed on my desire when Eagle states, “Are you sure she is ready for this?”

“I don’t know how far I will be able to go, or what we will be able to do, but I’d like to try with you, but I can’t do actual intercourse until. Oh, never mind,” She whispers and tries to turn her head away.

“Sweetheart, you are in charge. We go as far as you want and we do what you want until the fire is in your eyes and the tough as nails woman I met at Grandma May’s comes flying back,” I say and watch her eyes flash.

I know it will take a lot of reassuring her that she is safe with us, but I am not sure taking her back into the clubhouse, where I am unsure if Sweet cheeks will show up or if she will bring the two brothers with her.

I know that she isn’t done with us by a long shot, and I can’t have something happen to Amelia when she is so close to us and under my protection. I look at Eagle, getting ready to voice my concern, but he just nods his head.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Amelia

“It’s been four weeks, I am ready why can’t you guys believe me,” I growl at the two asshats who are sitting on the couch watching some stupid football game, don’t get me started on the stupid ritual they developed after one freaking day I went over to Rosey’s.

“Guys, do I really have to go over to Rosey’s today?” I whine, trying to catch their attention.

“I could walk around naked and playing with myself and you guys wouldn’t even notice the moans coming from my mouth,” I grumble and grab my purse.

I am heading to a counselor that I started seeing about a week after the guys bikes were burned. It got to a point that any man that was even close to me would cause me to shake and start to stutter.

I don’t say anything else to them. Why waste my breath on deaf ears. I storm out of the house grumbling how stupid men are and that they needed to open their eyes to see that I was ready, to see that I was finally in control of my mind. Yes, the demons still fought their way to the surface during my dreams, they were still changing into the people I trusted but I was slowly defeating them, it helps that my counselor is a woman who was in a similar situation and knows how to help fight those demons.

I sit in the car, seeing if they even noticed that I had left the house, but of course they didn’t. Why do I feel like it’s a one-sided relationship? I know they would never cheat on me because I would gut them in their sleep. It’s just that I feel like I am the one trying the hardest in this relationship.

As I start the car, I catch movement at the door, but I don’t turn my head. They don’t get to see the distress anymore.

“How is it going with Stephen and Lucas?” the counselor asks.

I sigh. “I truly don’t know. I have given them little hints that I was ready, but they ignore me. The feeling of being abandoned by those you love after the rape is so strong. Am I dirty? Did those guys leave a branding on me that I can’t see? I feel like I am lost, like I am floating through space and watching those that I love to pull away and I can’t make them see that I am still Amelia, that my fire is coming back.”

“I see. Have you voiced this to them? I mean, sat them down and had a face-to-face meeting with them?” she asks.

“Well, no, I’ve made comments in passing and initiated all the touching, even getting as bold as running my hands over their you know their parts that I want to get intimate with,” I say and blush. Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell your counselor you want to have sex with your men?

She starts to giggle and then completely blows my mind by saying, “You want to ride the biker, not the bike.”

I giggle nervously and nod. This entire conversation just went from uncomfortable to embarrassing.

“Do you know how long it took my husband to realize that the way he was treating me with kid gloves was damaging our relationship and sending my demons out to attack, even after I had defeated my demons?” she asks.

“No, but they keep telling me when I am ready. Don’t you think the best person to know when they are ready for things to go further would be me?” I state. I am getting frustrated because she is so calm, and I am seriously doubting that I am ready for what I so desperately think I want.

“Sometimes Amelia, we don’t know what our bodies need.

Our brains say we are winning, but our actions say stay away. Don’t you think those that are closest to us would see our reactions and know how to help you better?” she asks and then stands up, signaling the end of our session.

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