Page 21 of From the Darkness

I am stunned, literally just standing there staring at this man no boy, no man, with absolutely nothing to say to him.

“I know, shocking, that she kept it from you, but what you don’t know is that the last time wasn’t the only time. I watched her fight off guy after guy who thought they had the right to take her even when she said no. I watched my mother fight and defend herself until they injected her small body with drugs to make her lifeless. When they were done with her, they would come after me, like I was some sort of trophy. I was always one step ahead of them. I always had the phone and the police on the line. She knew, though, that when this last time happened that she would fight until they stopped hurting her.” He states with sadness.

“What’s your name?” I choke.

“It doesn’t matter I am leaving this hell hole full of memories. My new family is being transferred and we are leaving the country. I won’t be back; I just came to say bye to my mom.” He says and wipes at the tears that are running down his face.

“Please, I need to know what your name is? What did she name you?” I whisper.

“I am named after my Uncle, Lucas Sebastian.” He states with authority and smiles at me. He bends down and whispers how much he loves his mom and tells her to watch out for him and me, then turns and walks away without looking back.

I look down at my sister’s grave stone and whisper, “If that was your way of sending me a message, I received it and know what I have to do. I love you with all my heart and I will bring my girl here when the time is right.”

Walking towards the parking lot, I feel a breeze that makes my body ease.

Chapter Sixteen

Amelia

“Are you listening to anything that I am saying Amelia?” Rosey growls beside me.

“No, I’m not. Do you want to know why? I was fucking raped by two douche bags who thought it was funny to tie me up and gag me. On top of that disgusting thought, yes, that scene plays over and over in my fucking head like some sort of torture reel. Have two yes, two fucking men who look at me with utter disgust and pity on their faces. So, no Rosey, I wasn’t paying attention to what you were babbling on about. Can you please tell everyone to stay out of my room for a few days. Let me come to terms with everything that has happened to me and let me get my life back on the right path instead of sitting at the fork in the road. I love you my sister, I truly do, but my head needs to get out of the ‘it’s my fault’ crap that keeps playing over and over in my head.” I whisper as I dab my face with the washcloth that she just handed to me.

“I get it, honey. I am living with the ‘it’s my faults’ as we speak. You need to speak to someone who has dealt with rape, or you are going to drown in your own self-doubt. You will start to pity yourself.” She states before giving me a kiss and walking out the door.

Why did this happen to me? I didn’t do anything but show up for work and do my duties.

I can feel my life spiraling out of control. I don’t know how to make it stop. I don’t know how to tell my brain it’s not my damn fault. This thought breaks me,and I start to sob.

“Hey sweetheart, you ready to break yet?” a deep voice asks.

“I’m already shattered, I can’t put anything back together, I can’t look at myself in the mirror, and I can’t gaze down my body because all I see is their hands, their cocks and their words breaking me. I can’t get the feeling that I should have fought harder. I should have paid closer attention to my surroundings. I should have been safe in my place of work, but that’s gone. I don’t feel safe in my own skin, so how can I feel safe in a world where people are free to hurt others.” I whisper.

“You stop thinking that their actions were somehow caused by you baby,” another voice says.

I slowly bring my eyes from the window to the door. Standing there with a bouquet of blue roses and a bouquet of calla lilies are Steven and Lucas.

“Please, just leave. I can’t right now. I hurt too much.” I whisper and start to cry as I lower my head.

“You don’t have to say anything for the moment. Please, just listen to what I have to say.” Lucas says as he sits on the side of my bed.

“About six years ago, now my sister was brutally raped and beaten. She tried to phone me, but I was too busy in some shit place hotel staring down a set of A cup tits to be bothered to pick up my damn phone. The next morning, after I finally checked my phone, I saw the messages from her. I have her last breath on my voicemail. Then I got a call from the police department asking for the next of kin. My sister dies while I was too busy being selfish. I visit her grave as much as I can, especially if I need to talk it out. This time I ran into my sister’s kid. He laid some heavy stuff on me but what he made me realize is that my fucked-up brain is nothing on what you have going through yours. What I and Steven need to do is to be there for you through thick and thin. Through all the negative times and through every single time, you are ready to give up. You need to know that we are here for you always.” He states and places his forehead on mine.

“The thing is Lucas, in my head all I want to do is hide, find some place that’s dark and so far away from people that you would think I was a hermit. It hurts so damn much and not just my body from the beating. My brain is going a mile a minute from ‘it’s all my fault I should have checked my surrounding better’ to ‘you liked it so suck it the fuck up’ and even ‘it wasn’t my fault’. I don’t know which end is up, and all I want to do is bury my head in the sand.” I finish on a sob and turn away to look out the window.

“Excuse me sirs, visiting hours are over. The hospital requires us to lock all the outer doors please say our goodbyes.” A sweet nurse says and then looks at her watch.

Drills and Eagle ignore her and stare at me.

“No worries, honey they will be leaving very soon.” I state.

“This isn’t over Fire. You are ours, and we will make sure that every person knows it. I don’t give a shit what your brain is telling your pretty little heart, you have blazed into our lives like a fire truck pulling up to a call, there is no way Lucas, or I are letting you go.” Drills states and then slips his hand into my hair and places a firm kiss on my lips. “Simple as that.” He whispers and walks to the door.

Eagle doesn’t say anything. He cups my good cheek and smiles at me as he stares into my eyes. Leaning forward, he places a gentle kiss on my lips as he slides his hand to my neck. As he lifts his face, there is a sweet smile on his face. He squeezes my neck, then walks out the door.

As I turn my head and watch them walk out of the room, I think to myself that maybe the small nurse would be better for them. That thought, though, makes me hurt. My heart breaks thinking of anyone else being between Steven and Lucas.

Chapter Seventeen

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