Page 20 of From the Darkness

“Okay, Amelia, I am going to use my penlight to check your pupil reaction. I am going to need you to listen to me.” Dr. Bays demands, drawing my attention to his raised hand and then the sudden blinding light of a small pen.

Chapter Fifteen

Eagles

I am staring at this doctor, but not truly seeing what he is doing.

The words are rolling around in my head, and trying to make them stop is near impossible, severely beaten, raped, anal fissure, bladder infection, broken collarbone. It seems like the list just kept going. No matter how many times I tried to focus on Fire, those words just kept coming, like a flood from an angry mistress that is telling your wife everything.

“Dude, snap out of it she is watching you.”Drills growls at me as he punches me in the shoulder.

“What the fuck, dude?” I groan as I rub the spot he just hit.

I don’t need to know what. I can see it in her eyes when I finally look up at her. She is hurt by how I am reacting to everything. I can see the shame she is trying to hide behind her bravery.

“Amelia, I…” I don’t know what to say. This is all too much for me. It brings up memories of my sister and everything that happened when I found her in that street.

“Don’t, just leave. I know you want to. I can see it in your fucking face.” She growls at me.

“No, please, I don’t want to, I just. This. It’s … too much.” I whisper.

“Fucking leave Lucas! Get the fuck out of my damn room. Take him with you. I don’t need the fucking looks of pity coming from both of you. Just leave me the hell alone to deal with your own shit away from me.” She yells.

“Please no Fire, let me stay.” Drills begs and steps closer.

“I think it’s time you took your band of merry men out of this room Steven.” Rosey, her sister says, stepping in between us and her sister. “Gentleman, please follow me.” Her dad steps in and points to the door.

Drills turns around and stares at me. I can see he is pissed at how I reacted. I couldn’t help it though, seeing her on the bed, small and bruised. Then, when the doctor started listing everything that was wrong with her, it was as if I was transported back. I was just waiting for the doctor to say she was gone.

I didn’t see my Amelia sitting up in the bed. I didn’t feel her hand in mine, nor did I see Drills on the other side. I just saw my sister’s lifeless body lying on a metal slab, waiting for me to identify her.

Did I really make her feel that unimportant?

Did I make her think that she repulses me?

I lift my eyes from the floor that they have been staring at and look directly at Amelia, but she is looking out the window. Her body is tight, and her good hand keeps wiping at her face. I did that. I made her upset all because my fucked up past bit me in the ass when the girl who holds my heart needed me the most.

I turn on my heels and leave the room, not stopping when I hear Drills and my brother’s calling my name. Not stopping when Amelia’s dad yells, not even stopping when the nurse asks if I am ok.

I reach my bike and look up to the sky. I let loose a yell that echoed around the parking structure. Then I jump onto my bike and floor it out of the place that I left my heart.

I have been riding for about an hour. I know exactly where I am going. I am heading towards my sister’s grave. I need to be near her I need to. I don’t know what I need to do, but I just need to get it all out.

I dismount my bike in the parking lot and walk towards the back of the cemetery. Each step is like a weight being added to my shoulders. It’s like I am being dragged into quicksand.

I stand in front of her stone and look at the name. It brings a sad smile to my face.She was so young. She was so vibrant. She was so determined.

“Hey Sis,” I say as I sit down on the cold, wet ground.

“So, I need to say some things. I need to get them off my chest because it is killing me from the inside. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help when you were brutally raped and killed. I am so sorry that I didn’t pick up the phone. Honestly, what I was doing on that day wasn’t as important as what happened to you. I am sorry that they took you away from me. I am sitting here because the girl of my dreams has been raped and beaten. She survived, but all I can picture is you on the cold table and not her warm body on a hard bed. All I can see is the lifeless eyes of you instead of the vibrant eyes of Fire. I see a broken girl who is struggling to stay above water, not the strong woman that she truly is. How the hell do I make her believe that what happened to her is just that, something that happened to her. It doesn’t define who she is.” I say and let the tears fall.

“I looked at her like she was dirty, but I truly wasn’t seeing her. All I saw was you. I screwed up so badly that she asked me to leave. No, she demanded that I leave along with the rest of my brothers. What do I do to get her back?” I sigh and wipe my face.

“You know that a person who gets raped has two-options fold in on themselves and allow the tragedy to take hold of their soul or they can stand up and face it head on. It sounds like the girl you are talking about is facing it head on.” A low voicebehind me causing me to jump.

“Who the fuck are you?” I growl and jump to my feet.

His smile is shallow, and his eyes look sunken in. He is extremely skinny but very tall and his next words stung me. “I am your sisters’ son. I guess that would make me your nephew. She gave me up for adoption just before she was murdered.”

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