Page 69 of Our Secret Moments

I always said I wanted a sister, right?

TWENTY-FIVE

CONNOR

BAD HAIR DAY

I’ve been floatingthrough all my classes today like a ghost, not really sure what I’m doing with myself. Thanksgiving weekend is coming up and it’s the only thing I have to look forward to, and my surprise for Cat.

Sometimes I wish I could play football and do nothing else, but I know that’s unrealistic.

Surprisingly, I don’t hate my literature course. I actually enjoy it. Words and the meanings you can take from them have always spoken to me, sometimes more than watching movies has. Learning about older written texts and the context around them is cool, but Wes’s constant questions puts me off going to class. Especially when the season is in full swing and all I want to do is go to the gym and prepare myself for the upcoming games.

When I see a text from Cat an hour into my lecture, I welcome the distraction.

Kit-Cat

U don’t have to come over today.

Do you not want me to?

Kit-Cat

I do.

I just don’t think you’ll want to stay long. I’m taking out my braids and it’s not very entertaining.

I could watch you watch paint dry, Cat. Everything you do is entertaining to me.

Kit-Cat

Fine, but you’ve been warned.

I know that’s not the only reason she doesn’t want me to come over. Today is the anniversary of her mom’s death, making it five years without her. I could only imagine what it would be like losing someone so important to you so young. Her mom was everything to her. As much as her dad was great, Pauline is the one I have to thank for turning my Catherine into the person that she is today.

It’s risky business deciding to go to her dorm in the middle of the afternoon when my sister or Elle could come home at any second, but I want to be there for her. I don’t know what happened to make her believe that she doesn’t need to be looked after sometimes and I want to prove her wrong, be that person for her. Everyone needs somebody sometimes and that’s fine. I can push people away when I need them the most, but I’ve tried to get it into my thick skull that doing that makes my problems a shit ton worse than if I just let the people who care for me be there when I need them.

This is exactly what I was made for.

I was made to be ridiculed by my best friend as I left my dorm with a huge box filled with goodies for Cat and an oversized teddy bear. I’ve consumed enough romantic media in the last few days to know that I’m on the right track of some sorts. My main goal is to be the comfort that I know she needs to do and make up for missing our library date.

After nearly tripping over several times as I made my way to her dorm, the door opened to the most beautiful sight.

My Catherine is wearing pink silk pyjamas, half of her hair is natural, curls flying everywhere whilst the other half is still braided, but it’s been shortened from the length it was a few days ago. Her face is in complete surprise despite the back and forth messages where she told me not to come and I told her I was coming anyway.

I hold up the bear in my hand, needing to crack her frown. It’s almost as big as her – big round eyes, a red bowtie on its neck and a tiny shirt.

“I come bearing gifts,” I say, moving into the dorm and she reluctantly lets me in. When the door shuts with a click, she turns to me, looking down at the box in my hands and then back to my eyes.

“I’m having a self-care day,” she says, a low edge to her voice that breaks my heart in two. She twists the necklace around her neck, a silver one that used to belong to her mom.

“Yeah, me too,” I reply, grinning. I walk past her to the living room where she’s set up her laptop and has a bag with the used hair extensions, a bag full of hair products and a huge wide-toothed comb. I turn back to her and she’s still blinking at me. “Come here, Cat.”

“Connie,” she murmurs, slowly taking a step towards me, her pretty mouth opening and closing before she takes a deep breath. “You don’t want to be around me right now. I promise.”

I shake my head, setting down the stuffed bear on the couch. “Ask me where I want to be right now.”

She sighs. “Connor….”

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