Page 381 of S is for SEX

CHRISTY

Traffic was ridiculous as I tried to work my way back into the city. Maneuvering in and out of traffic was a pain in the ass, and I was damned close to sober. I didn’t care much for being awake and being sober. Not if I could help it. I exited the highway, and sped down the off ramp.

“You need to slow down, you’re going to make me sick,” Greg whined.

“Jesus, shut up, Greg, we’ll be there in a minute. And if you puke your belly full of cum on my back seat, I’ll beat your ass,” I yelled to the back seat as I turned onto Peach Orchard Lane.

“So, we’re just going to meet a guy?” Lenny asked.

“Well, you are,” I responded, then continued - whispering, “Greg’s gonna suck his cock.”

Lenny smiled and tapped his fingers on his knees to Angus and Julia Stone’s, “Draw Your Swords”.

“I love that song,” he said.

“So do I. It’s awesome, huh?” I responded.

“What are you guys talking about,” Greg spouted from the back seat.

“Shut up, Greg,” we both said in unison.

“Here we are, 735. This is it. Come on,” I said as I set the parking brake.

“Greg hand me that back pack, we may need it,” I bellowed to Greg.

Greg handed me the back pack, and I opened the door and got out. Greg slipped out from the rear seat, and Lenny walked around the front of the car.

“Okay, now listen, just don’t freak out, okay?”

They both nodded. We waked to the front door, and I unlocked it with the keys that I had taken earlier. As we entered, I held my finger to my lips to make sure they remained quiet. We walked in and around the corner of the house.

“Oh my God, I love his taste in art,” Greg whispered.

This guy is gay as fuck and the sooner he realizes it, the better off we’ll all be.

We walked around the corner, and stepped into the bedroom. The Butt Pirate was asleep on the bed.

“Oh my God. What the fuck? How long has he been here?” Greg asked.

“I don’t know, a few hours or so,” I lied.

I walked to the bathroom and found a washcloth and some soap. I got the washcloth wet with warm water and soap, and walked back into the bedroom. As soon as I got in the room, I heard butt boy talking.

“Please, she’s insane, you two have to let me loose,” he whined from the bed.

I’m insane? I didn’t claim I had a wife, and lure you into my home so I could rape you.

“Dude, I wasn’t lying when I told you what I told you. Son-of-a-bitch. Are you that stupid?” I asked as I set down the back pack.

I unzipped the back pack and pulled the Tazer from the bag. I stood, Tazer in hand and leaned toward the bed.

“No! NO! Please God no, I’m sorry…” Butt Pirate screamed.

I pressed the Tazer inside his upper thigh and pulled the trigger. His body convulsed. As his body flopped, he pissed everywhere.

“You nasty prick, if that gets on me, I’m going to…”

“Holy shit, what did you do?” Greg screamed.

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