Page 233 of S is for SEX

RAIN

My life was quickly becoming a dream come true. Ethan and Cade were as caring and kind with me together as they were apart. Looking beyond what I expected would be the public’s view of my relationship with the two of them, I saw nothing but a bright future ahead. Maybe I was as naïve as Cade had once indicated, but I didn’t think so. If we wanted the relationship to work, it would. All we had to do was want.

And more than anything, I wanted my happily ever after with the two men I so dearly loved.

“So you said you’d tell me about Ethan. What was the deal about him being a computer hacker?” I asked over my shoulder as I finished brushing my teeth.

“Oh, I forgot. Sorry. I was going to tell you the other day. Okay come sit,” Cade said as he patted the cushion on the couch beside him.

Eager to learn more about Ethan, and finding it odd he was once a computer hacker, I skipped over to the couch and sat down beside Cade.

“Okay so I told you he was a mathematical genius, right?” he asked.

I nodded my head. “Yep.”

“Well, to understand computers is to basically understand math. They’re a series of problems, numbers, and stuff like that. Ethan was a natural, I guess. As a kid, before he was a regular genius he was a computer genius. Well, he got in trouble for hacking when he was young, and they basically slapped his hand. And then, when he was a little older, he did it again.” He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, clearing it from his eyes.

“And?” I asked.

He held his hands to his mouth, covered it for a moment, and then as he pulled his hands away he continued, “He got in a lot of trouble. He ended up going to prison for a while. I don’t know all of the details, and it doesn’t really matter, but it’s why he got a late start on college. And that’s where he got the tattoos on his knuckles, and maybe a few others, I don’t know. But he did tell me he got the knuckle tattoos in prison. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t tell you already.”

“Oh wow. I wondered about that. I mean, not a lot, but like the day I met him, I remember wondering about the tattoos on his fingers. Huh, a computer hacker. That’s kind of funny. So, he doesn’t do it anymore?” I asked.

Cade shook his head. “Nope. He doesn’t want to go back to prison. I mean, who would, right?”

“I suppose not. And yeah, I don’t know. Nobody, I’d guess,” I responded.

The thought of Ethan spending time in prison didn’t trouble me; if anything, it intrigued me. In some ways, it made me think that he and I were more alike than I had already thought. Although I’d never been to jail or prison, in some respects I’d been incarcerated for my entire life at home as a little girl. I also felt being homeless would have to be similar to being in prison – you’re stripped of all of your belongings, and left with nothing but time and what little space you have that you can call your own. The more I made comparisons, I realized it didn’t matter if you were in prison or homeless - the space you occupied wasn’t even yours, and long after you were gone someone else would take it over and begin the process again.

I glanced at Cade. There was no sense going on and on about it. I decided I’d give Ethan an opportunity to tell me about it at a later date. As Cade shrugged and grinned, I shook my head.

“You’re cute,” I said.

“Is that good?” he asked as he glanced down toward his lap.

“It’s wonderful,” I responded.

He widened his eyes as he looked up. “Is Ethan cute?”

I shook my head and laughed. “No. Ethan’s, I don’t know. But he’s not cute.”

After a moment’s thought, I continued.

“Ethan’s handsome,” I said.

“He’s handsome and I’m cute. Perfect,” Cade complained sarcastically.

“Look. Stop making comparisons. You’re cute, and I love you for it. I love you for all you are. I love Ethan for different reasons, but to be jealous, it’s just…” I hesitated and shook my head. “Jealousy is a way of telling me you don’t trust me. There’s nothing to be jealous of. I love both of you, and it’s not going to change. I’ll always love you, and I’ll always love him. Okay?”

He inhaled a deep breath, nodded his head once, and exhaled loudly. “Okay.”

As I studied him, he seemed to come into a calm state of being. Maybe what I said sank in. As he began to appear to be daydreaming, I continued to watch him, wondering all the while what he may be thinking.

“I have a question,” he said.

I slapped my hand against his knee, hoping to bring him back to earth. “Ask away.”

“I want to take you to Denver to meet my mom and aunt. I don’t know if I’m ready to tell them about the entire thing, but I want to tell them about you. Your thoughts?” he asked.

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