Page 386 of S is for SEX

“…fed me water and crackers. That’s all I’ve eaten for a week. Oh, and electrocutions, he came back every day and electrocuted me and stuffed crackers in my mouth…” his voice trailed off as the nurse pushed him away from us.

He? He came back…

“Holy fuck,” I said, staring at Heather.

“No way,” she responded, appearing horrified.

“Way,” I stuttered.

“The Butt Pirate?” she asked with a very surprised look on her face.

“Yeah, the Butt Pirate. Did you hear him? He said ‘he came back every day’, didn’t he?” I asked, hoping for confirmation.

Heather nodded.

“What do you think…I mean how do you think…what happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Fuck. I have the keys to his house, his phone, and his wallet. The battery is dead on his phone, but I have it,” I stood and stared as the nurse pushed him around the curved corridor and out of sight.

“Well, I guess you don’t have to feed him, huh?” Heather laughed.

“Guess not, but I was nowhere near done torturing him. That motherfucker,” I growled.

“What?” Heather asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I responded.

We looked at each other for a long second and each shook our heads. As we approached the exit, the skateboard boy stood by the door spinning the wheels on his skateboard.

“Shit, is there another exit?” I whispered.

“No,” Heather whispered back.

The skateboarder turned and gazed at us, smiling. He was dressed in long baggy jeans, a tee shirt, and flip-flops. As we approached, he quickly focuses back on the wheels of his skateboard and began to spin them with his fingers. We turned and gazed at each other and proceeded slowly. As we got closer to the door, he stopped playing with the wheels and opened the door.

“Let me get this door for you ladies,” he said as he tucked the skateboard under his right arm.

“Thank you,” Heather said as we walked through the door.

“No problem, ladies. So, how are you two doing this fine day? Uhhmm, uh…you in the gown, you…uhhmm, you’re hanging out in the back,” he said as we passed through the door.

“Well aware,” I said, turning to my right to look at him.

“Charles. Well, Charlie. Call me Chuck. Everyone calls me Chuck, it’s easy. Chuck. It rolls off the tongue nicely,” he said as he put his skateboard down and started riding it beside us.

His face was cute and boyish, and his hair was a little longer than shoulder length. He had long sideburns and a very pronounced chin. His eyes appeared like they were very distant - very distant.

“You alright, Chuck?” I asked as we walked through the parking garage.

“Yeah, I took a hit of X a little bit ago. It started kicking in in the hallway. I feel fabulous,” he said as he propelled his board across the garage beside us.

“I think he’s high,” Heather whispered.

“He said he took a hit of Ecstasy,” I whispered back.

“Figures. What else was he saying, I wasn’t even paying attention,” Heather asked as she scrunched her face up and reached into her purse.

“He just kept saying his name, that’s why I asked if he was okay,” I responded in a whisper.

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