Page 385 of S is for SEX

“Christy, they just left, like ten minutes ago. They were going to check you for a concussion. You really need to stay and wait to see what they say,” she begged.

“I’m leaving. I need to feed the Butt Pirate some crackers and a drink of water. I don’t remember for sure when I was there last, and I’m not really sure if I fed him the last time we were there. I may have just had Greg suck his cock, and not fed him, I really don’t remember,” I explained.

“What day is it?” I asked.

“Saturday,” Heather responded.

“It is not,” I cried, trying to remember what happened through the week.

“What?” Heater questioned.

“I have to work. What time is it?” I asked, sitting up in the bed.

“It’s three o’clock,” she answered.

“Fuck, I think I have to work at five. Shit. Help me up, Jesus,” I wailed.

I kicked my legs off the bed, and tried to stand. Heather stood beside me and helped get me stable on my legs. I pressed my weight against her shoulder and wrapped my arm around her neck.

“Let’s walk out of here. If anyone asks, just tell them you’re taking me for a walk. They can’t arrest us - fuck ‘em,” I said as I reached around to the back of my gown with my left hand.

Oh, perfect, my ass and pussy are hanging out.

“What’s wrong,” Heather asked, looking down at my hand.

“The back of this raggedy assed gown is open, and my ass and twat are hanging out,” I said.

Heather grabbed our purses, and we started stumbling toward the door. As we walked, I felt better about my ability to walk unassisted. Half way down the hall, I let go of her shoulder and started walking on my own. Once we were waiting on the elevator I was back to my almost normal self - normal and barefoot.

“Let’s stand on each side of the elevator, so if we get caught, I can say I’m just wandering around. You don’t have to say shit,” I said as I stepped to the other side of the elevator.

Heather nodded.

“So who cleaned the puke off of me? Whoever it was did a great job, I don’t feel any chunks or smell a thing,” I laughed as we waited for the elevator.

“I have no idea, it wasn’t me, I just followed the ambulance. We have to get on the elevator and go to four - it’s where the parking garage is,” she whispered.

“Well, I feel great. I need a little food and a shot of something. I have a headache,” I said as I rubbed the back of my head.

“You do not need anything to drink. It’s not even evening time, and you have gone to the bar, got drunk, told stories about a guy face-fucking his roommate, money shots, the Butt Pirate, cum covered shorts, and then stood up, spun in a weird little circle, puked all over the place, slipped in it, and fell down. Now you’re sneaking out of the hospital half naked. You do not need a drink,” she whispered.

“You need to take a breath. Jesus, Heather. And what’s with the whispering?” I whispered back.

“We’re in a hospital - and you’re sneaking out. That’s why,” she responded in a whisper.

We got off the elevator and started down the hallway. Most people would probably be embarrassed or humbled by walking down a hospital corridor half naked and barefoot. I wasn’t one of those people. I laughed to myself as we made it down the hallway toward the parking garage. A guy with long blonde hair and a skateboard stepped out from one of the rooms in front of us and turned the corner. As he walked, he studied his skateboard.

“Let’s stay behind him, so we don’t get questioned,” I laughed.

Heather nodded.

As we tried to maintain a safe distance between the skateboarder and ourselves, a loud ding alarmed us that one of the doorways ahead of us was, in fact, an elevator. We turned and looked at each other, trying to decide which direction to go.

“Well, fuck it depends on which direction they’re going to go,” I said, holding my hands in the air.

“Shhh. Come on,” Heather said, hurrying to get past the elevator door.

As we passed the door began to open. A nurse pushed a wheelchair out with a man in it. The man was babbling and talking frantically. The voice made me stop so quick my bare feet screeched on the tile floor. I turned slightly to take a look.

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