Page 352 of Not Over You

* * *

Can Lori overcome her fears and reveal the truth, and will Zane ever forgive her shocking deception?

PROLOGUE

It’s exciting, this journey we’re all on. Endless possibilities stretch far and wide, each decision leading to a labyrinth of infinite choices, and depending on the decision made, an infinite number of outcomes in a long and fulfilling life.

Except for me.

See, there was only one outcome, and it was neither long nor fulfilling. One outcome that led to a single-lane road. No turning left or right, or even going into reverse. Feet nailed to the tracks, the train heading right for her.

She could pray, of course. And she had. Many times. But her prayers went unanswered.

She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander. Back to before. To her past life.

To Zane.

Her lips curled as memories tumbled into her mind. Passing love notes in class and getting caught by their teacher, who’d given Zane detention and almost made him miss the prom. Skipping school and spending all day in the park, lying on a soft blanket and looking up at the sky while they planned their future. Their first kiss, first touch. First time she saw him naked and couldn’t help a nervous giggle from exploding out of her. She smiled wider at that memory, at Zane’s horror that she could laugh at his precious manhood. Until he’d put his mouth on her most intimate parts, and laughter had been the last thing on her mind.

And then came the worst possible news one Sunday night a few weeks after prom, right before graduation. Her father informed her were moving to India. Just for a year, he’d said. No time at all in the grand scheme of things. She had her whole life ahead of her, and this temporary assignment would lead to certain promotion, an opportunity he couldn’t pass up. She’d erupted into a tantrum to end all tantrums, accused him of not caring about her, only about himself and his precious job. It didn’t seem matter to him that he’d blown apart her plans to attend NYU in the fall.

“They have colleges in India, Lorelei. Good ones. You can still do the first year of your degree over there, then transfer to NYU later.”

India. A foreign country thousands of miles away from the familiarity of her home in Manhattan. Thousands of miles away from her boyfriend, Zane. A different culture, a different religion. Different everything. Her mother had tried to tell her what a marvelous opportunity it was for a girl of her age to experience living in a country so contrasting to America, but she hadn’t wanted to listen. She’d ranted and raved, refused to go, but she’d had no choice. She might have turned eighteen two months earlier, but how would she bankroll herself through college without her parents backing her financially? And her father had made it clear that he wouldn’t. An empty threat, maybe, but one she didn’t dare test.

That hadn’t been the worst part, though. No, the worst part was telling Zane that he’d have to go to NYU without her, that she was the one who’d have to pay the price for her father’s ambitions. She never thought he could be so cruel, to rip her dreams away from her right when they were within her grasp. He knew what Zane meant to her, how he was her soul mate and without him, she’d wither.

Her dad had responded with platitudes, told her they were both young and if it was meant to be, then a short time apart wouldn’t make a difference. She’d turned to her mother for support, but they were a united front. The deal was done, and she was helpless to stop it.

Zane had held her and rocked her and told her she was it for him. That there’d never be another woman he loved as much. That he’d wait for her and call or text every day.

And he had.

For four months, he’d kept his word. They’d FaceTimed, texted late into the night, even written love letters to each other that they’d actually posted rather than put their thoughts into an email. He’d recorded his first day on campus, filmed his new fraternity brothers, including one he’d decided would be his best friend, a guy named Calum Brook.

She’d chuckled at Zane’s singlemindedness in choosing those important to him, having been on the end of something similar. When Zane first laid eyes on her in junior high, he’d decided right then and there that she was the one for him, and she didn’t have a choice in the matter. Suited her. From the moment she saw Zane, she felt exactly the same.

She’d flown to India with her parents, silent tears tracking down her cheeks with every mile that took her farther from Zane. But she had settled in, to a point. She made some friends, but no one came close to replacing Zane in her life.

And then the day came. The one she’d never forget. She’d been feeling tired for a while but had put it down to the stress of trying to fit into a strange world, to time-managing all her college classes and ensuring she didn’t fall behind in her grades. It was normal for freshmen to suffer from bouts of fatigue now and then.

Except hers hadn’t been fatigue.

She’d woken up in the hospital with a concussion after fainting and hitting her head—with a death sentence hanging over her.

Oh, the doctors were upbeat. They felt confident that they’d find a heart to replace hers before it was too late. Birth defect, they’d said. It had lain dormant, undetected through her normal physical exams. No one could tell her why now. Why her body had chosen this particular moment to fail. The medical team mused on it, of course. A virus, perhaps. But whatever the cause, facts were facts.

Her heart was failing, and the only thing that could save her now was for someone else to die.

The devastation on her parents’ faces as they sat beside her hospital bed, each clasping one of her hands, their eyes locked on the doctor while he did his best to explain a complicated issue in easy-to-understand terms had made her decision an easy one.

She couldn’t ever tell Zane. Couldn’t bear to see that same look on his face. To go to her grave with that image imprinted on her brain. No, better that he thought she’d rejected him rather than face the truth. She didn’t want his pity. She wanted to remember him as he was. The way his gorgeous mocha eyes crinkled when he laughed, how he’d run his hand through his thick, dark-brown hair knowing she found it sexy. The little exhale of air he gave when he came…

Everyone died in the end, but not before they’d lived for a long time. Eighteen years was nothing, a blip. If they couldn’t find a suitable match, she’d discover whether life after death was a truth or a lie well before her twentieth birthday. Even if the transplant team found a match, there was no guarantee it’d work. And if her prayers were answered, and it saved her, she’d forever be under the watchful eye of medics. Popping pills and waiting for her body to reject the life-saving organ, too primitive to decipher that, without a stranger’s heart in her chest, she’d die. Waiting for death was no way to live, and she refused to put Zane through that.

She loved him too much.

And so she quit answering his texts and declined his phone calls. She ordered her parents to ignore any attempts to contact them either and, as she might die soon, they couldn’t deny her final wishes. They’d vehemently opposed the approach she’d chosen to take and had tried everything to dissuade her, but this was her life—what was left of it—her choice, and she’d live with the consequences.