Page 109 of Not Over You

“I won’t be able to sleep.” My eyes drooped and I willed them to say open. I sighed and listen to him breathe. It was so quiet in the room.

The shades in front of the window remained open. It was pitch-black. No city lights shining into the room. Not like in Vegas. I got a position in the guest events department. I was excited. I had a new apartment, a new car; a whole new life waiting for me. Before Bishop died, I couldn’t wait to get started. Ricky made me promise I’d get on the plane, but part of me wasn’t sure.

Will I be ready in two weeks?

My mother couldn’t wait to get rid of me, but my father was another story.

I groaned and shifted in the bed. Ricky tightened his grip on me.

“You’re suffocating me,” I whined.

“What’s wrong?” He loosened his hold and I rolled over on my back.

“I don’t want to go to sleep,” I pouted. The way I regressed with him had me questioning my sanity.

“Why don’t you want to go to sleep?” He rose up on his elbow and placed a hand over mine to keep me from fidgeting.

“If we go to sleep, then we wake up tomorrow and it’s all going to be back the way it was.” I held my breath.

“Back to the way it was, how?”

I exhaled. Ricky frowned and stopped my eye roll with the power of his stare. I did do that a lot.

“Bishop is still dead. You will be gone.” I swept my hand in the air. “This was just a stopgap. We satisfied a need, but tomorrow, you’ll be gone. Roman will be bossing me around, Michael will worry about me, and Keith will be all awkward. Sean is going to smoke himself into oblivion. We’ll all go about our lives, and you’ll still be gone.”

“So, you admit something did happened.” He grabbed my hand.

“Well, yeah, but — “

“What happened?” He laid his head next to mine on the pillow.

“We had sex,” I whispered.

“Yeah, what else?”

“That’s it.” I looked over at him.

“We didn’t just have sex.”

“We had amazing sex.” I got away with an eye roll out of his view.

“Well, thank you for that, but that’s not what I meant.” He rolled back on his side. I did the same. “You’re right, it was a stop gap, but not to get you out of my system, but to confirm what we have isn’t all in our heads.” He rubbed the top of my head. “What happen last night was long overdue. We connected in the way I imagined we would. Nothing is the same. You feel that, don’t you?”

“Uhm.” I closed my eyes. “Yeah, but can you be more specific? Like, can I call you?”

“You could call me before.” He rubbed his face. “You just didn’t.”

“You didn’t call me,” I scoffed. He glared and I took the snark out of my voice. “Can we call and text like normal people?”

“You can call and text, and IF I’m able, I’ll always get back to you.”

“If you’re able . . .” I sat up and looked down at him. “What does that mean?”

“In case you forgot, my job isn’t really conducive to nightly bedtime chats and extended text conversations. I may not be accessible all the time.” He guided me back down. “I promise to always get back to you as soon as I can.”

“And, what if you’ve been captured by Al Qaeda or some South American drug lord or something, and I don’t ever hear from you?”

“Nothing is going to happen to me.”

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