Page 49 of Accidental Irish Daddy

But it’s for me …and yet, I hesitate like it’s something private and not for my eyes.

With a pensive heart, I open it.

It’s a letter in her handwriting.

Mo stolin,

If you’re reading this, then my time on this earth has finally and inevitably ended.

I’ve noticed that Aisling’s way of referring to the days in regard to me has been characterized as being either “good” or “bad.” I’ve been keeping track of how often she says my days are good, perhaps as some way to keep hope alive somehow with this illness. But, as I should have expected, lately, I’ve been accumulating more bad days than good.

I can’t say how much time I have left, so I figured that I would write you something personal on one of my “good days.”

You should know that my life has been a good one, all things considered. I’ve had my share of disappointments and heartbreak, but all in all, I have to say that the wondrous things that have manifested in my life have greatly outweighed the awful things.

It’s of those wondrous times that I’m thinking of today. Believe it or not, one of those times was meeting and marrying your father.

I know, I know. The way we parted ways wasn’t the best. He’s hurt me in some devastating ways, and I’ve hurt him just as badly, but looking back on it all, I’m glad to have known love and I’m glad I knew it with him.

Being in love is one of the most precious and incredible experiences that a person can have…and it can change your entire world if you let it.

I want that for you, son. I want you to see past all the darkness that plagued your life over the years, and I want you to live under the bright blue sky.

I think that’s possible with Aisling in your life. She cares in a very real way that I believe would do you some good.

You once said to me that you’re not worthy of that kind of love. I still believe you’re wrong about that.

My hope is that you learn from her what it means to give hope to someone who needs it.

All that being said, my dear, my final wish is that you take care of her and Bridget. I’ll leave the particulars up to you in that. I know you’ll probably resist it, but I think that if they remain in your life in some way, you’ll be better for it. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, Grant. For you to be better in every way that matters.

I’ve only wanted you to be the light you were always meant to be.

I love you more than the moon and the stars and the sky above. You are my sweet, darling boy, Mo storin, and I will miss you tremendously when I move on.

-- Love Always

Ma

I stare at her final words.Love always, Ma. My vision gets blurry, and the familiar sting tells me that I’m crying. I wipe my cheeks, take in a deep breath…and fold the letter back up and put it in the envelope.

She wanted me to take care of Aisling and Bridget…and in one thoughtless move, I’ve managed to do the exact opposite of that.

I’m such an idiot.

Martha’s been over the last few mornings with her usual basket of sweets. During one of those visits, she casually told me that Aisling and Bridget have been staying with her the last few days. As if I wasn’t the one responsible for turning them out into the cold.

I suppose she wanted me to know that they were safe and nearby.

So, I’m left to honor my mother’s wishes…but how? Certainly, I was wrong for being so cruel to Aisling, but what do I say to her? How do I convince her to come back here? It’s not like I can give her the job back.

Maybe I could tell her about these budding feelings I have for her.

No!

Aisling doesn’t feel the same way about me. Of that, I’m certain.

I sit with it for a little bit, trying to think of how to do this properly.

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