Page 50 of Accidental Irish Daddy

It’s not going to be enough to give her money and send her on her way. Mother wanted Aisling and Bridget in my life. That’s the important part of her final wish. For them to be my lighthouse of sorts.

Another crazy thought pops into my mind and I almost immediately push it away. But for a moment, I hold onto it. Is it really that crazy of an idea?

If Aisling and I were married, I could care for Bridget financially and Aisling could quit the gentlemen’s club.

We’d have to sleep in separate rooms, of course. I wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened when we fought.

That’s a lie. I do want a repeat, or a do over. But I want it to mean as much to her as it does to me, or it will be empty. And she means much more to me than any other of the women I had on roster before. She means so much.

But she doesn’t feel the same way, so I can’t go there.

This has to be a way to help her and keep her in my life, even if just as my wife on paper. To ensure her and Bridget’s future. By staying here, marrying me, she could save up money to live in an apartment on her own later on.

It’s insane. She’ll never agree to it.

I’ve got to try, though. For Ma.

I take the letter and put it in my pocket, then I leave for Martha’s house down the road.

***

I knock on Martha’s door, but it opens under the pressure from my fist. That makes me bristle. I’ve told her a million times about keeping her doors unlocked.

I walk inside and call out for her. “Martha? Are you here?”

No answer. I close and lock the door behind me, then make my way to the kitchen. Through the back door, I see her in the garden with Bridget. She’s showing her how to replant her peonies.

I watch from the doorway, remembering how Martha had taken the time to show me how to replant and prune and that first foreign feeling of my hands in the cool dirt.

Most of all, this reminds me of how it felt to kneel next to her and be a part of helping something grow. Martha had a way of making it seem almost too easy. As if it was as simple as waving a wand when it was really hard work to make the plants in her garden grow.

“Mr. Duncan?”

I look over my shoulder and Aisling is standing in the kitchen. She’s wearing a long shirt that almost covers a pair of blue jeans shorts and her long, red hair is up in a messy bun. Where she’sstanding, the sunlight from the windows catches the shine in her hair, giving her a sort of halo around her head.

My heart literally skips a beat.

“What are you doing here?” Aisling asks.

Get a hold of yourself.

I turn all the way around to her and say, “I came to talk to you.”

She looks away from me, walking to the cabinet to get a glass. “There’s nothing to talk about, is there? You were quite clear about canceling my services now that your mother’s passed.”

She’s speaking in a cold tone that feels like daggers in my chest.

And she is right, even if that hurts. I stand up a little taller to try and protect myself against the hurt, but it’s not really working. I feel like shite about everything, and I guess I deserve every barb she has for me, intentional or not.

“I realize that I might’ve been a little harsh with you,” I say, sounding apologetic, “but I want you to know that…well, that I didn’t mean it. My ma and I were close, and losing her has been hard. Much harder than I thought it would be.”

She’s pouring herself a glass of juice and she’s not looking up at me.

God, I hope I haven’t completely burned this bridge with her.

“Listen,” I go on, “I realize that your duties for my mother have ended, but…but she wouldn’t want you to be out of sorts like this. Ma cared very much for you and Bridget. She would want you both to be properly taken care of.”

“What are you talking about? Taken care of.” Aisling says. She turns and crosses her arms as her eyes blaze emerald anger at me. “Have you come here to throw a bag of money at me and send me on my way? If you have, you can just turn on your heel and move on. I’m fine just the way I am, and I’ve got a busy day to get through.”

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