Page 5 of Devil's Betrayal

“How did it go at the cemetery today?” she inquires.

“Do you mind if we order first?”

“Of course, but are you okay? You look a little frazzled.”

“I’m not so sure,” I respond, releasing a heavy sigh. The weight of what happened today presses on my chest and it feels as if taking my next breath is a struggle.

Gesturing for the server to come over, I order a Bardot Whiskey neat as Lena looks at me with concern. I never drink during the day but my nerves are shot and I need something strong to relax. We order Greek salads with toasted pita bread and creamy tomato soup. Because I’m a self-proclaimed emotional eater, I order fried pickles with a side of ranch dipping sauce. Lena stares at me with her mouth agape but it doesn’t deter me from my mission to not only sabotage my diet, but I also want to feel nothing of what transpired between me and Micah.

“Okay Camille, what is going on?” Lena inquires as she takes a sip of water.

I pause to gather my thoughts but there’s only one way to say it so I blurt out,

“I kissed Micah today.” The whiskey burns as I gulp it down and gesture to our server to bring me another. Saying the wordsout loud make it real and for a brief moment it feels as if I’m in a dream of some sort. I’m quickly brought back when water splashes my face and Lena is about to cough up a lung.

“Shit! Sorry!” She exclaims as she tosses a napkin my way and tries to recover from the shock of what I just told her.

“It’s okay,” I reply as I laugh awkwardly. “I’m just as shocked as you are.”

“What exactly happened? How did it feel? How did you get close enough to kiss him and what is Gideon going to say?”

These are all valid questions but the more I think about that kiss the more my anxiety spikes. I’ll have to re-double my efforts not to engage with Micah. The fried pickles arrive and I dive into the hot tart goodness. The slight burn to my tongue helps me balance my thoughts and I tell Lena everything that happened today. She sits quietly and doesn’t say a word until I’m done. What she responds with opens another can of worms that I never even thought of until now.

“Camille, isn’t it time for you to think about your own happiness?”

The question frightens me because she’s right.

“I suppose it is but not at the expense of my relationship with my son. It’s just too much of a risk.”

“Gideon is a grown man and he has handled much worse than this. He’s married with his own children and living his life. You deserve the same after everything you’ve gone through. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your own happiness because Gideon may or may not be happy with your choice. He doesn’t have a say in who you choose to spend the rest of your life with.”

The rest of my life was supposed to be spent with Franklin but he took that from me because of his own selfishness. I’m just a bitter woman with too much at risk and if I’m not careful I could lose my son but Lena’s right. What about my happiness?

“Gideon is not the type of person who would look past the discord between the Rebels and the Devils. He most certainly would never forgive me and I’m not prepared to take a chance on losing him.”

“He shouldn’t have a say so in your life decisions unless you invite him to. Even though he’s a grown man, he could never understand how you’re feeling after everything that’s happened with Franklin. You deserve to be happy Camille and Gideon should feel the same way.”

“I’m not sure I deserve it since I’ll have to disclose that Micah and I used to be in a relationship. Gideon may feel betrayed again.”

“You were both so young at the time and you did what you thought was best given the circumstance. He can’t hold that against you. He knew that you were all friends, didn’t he?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t know that Micah and I had a thing.”

“Again, he can’t hold that against you. He may surprise you and be perfectly fine with this. Did you ever think of that?

“There’s no way in hell Gideon would be okay with Micah and I being together. Yes, there’s a truce between the clubs right now but he still harbors ill feelings toward Micah because of Jake.”

“I can understand that but your happiness shouldn’t be contingent on Gideon’s acceptance of Micah.”

“You’re right,” I concede, feeling the weight of this inner conflict. Am I really contemplating just going to Micah and giving in to us? The thought crosses my mind and has my stomach in knots as our server places our salads on the table.

“I just need some time to think this all through. In the meantime, I’m going to keep myself busy with our beautiful grandchildren and tackle some home improvement projects I’ve been wanting to do.”

“That’s a great idea, Camille. Give yourself some grace and think things over. I know you’ll figure out what’s best for you. I’llbe glad to help you at the house if you need me. Alise and I are going to Grants Pass to do some shopping tomorrow but I’m free for the rest of the week.”

“I could use the help so it’s a date,” I exclaim, feeling a bit lighter.

“Putting everything else aside, how did it feel to kiss Micah again after all of these years?”

---