Page 41 of A Clash of Embers

He pulled his hand through his damp, curly hair as he continued to berate me. "All it is with you isme, me, me.Youneverthink of anyone else but yourself. You could have killed him, and it would have worked—"

I stood frozen. Blinking away the slow trickle of tears that flooded my eyes. I couldn't look at him. I knew there was nothing I could say that would change his mind. Even if I would have killed Eros, we would still be bonded in some way. When I turned to look at the rest of our friends, I felt the emptiness and hollow feelings they held tightly to. These feelings of great hopelessness.

Luke was angry but he stayed in place staring directly at us; he had words on the tip of his tongue but chose not to say them. I didn't even dare to look at Bethany or Callan because I sensed their emotions anyway. I didn't need to see their faces to prove it.

It’s funny to me that the entire time we were under the curse, I was the one betrayed. And now, in a sense maybe, I was the betrayer.

I had enough of this feeling, and my thoughts danced around the fact that maybe he was right. That Leo was right. So, I would do the one thing that no one would expect of me. I would turn myself in to Eros but not without a price. To them, I would be their villain, their ultimate traitor, and to Eros I would be his greatest regret.

I woulddestroyhim. I would destroy his entire kingdom from the inside.

I took one last glimpse around the room, stopping at Leo. The man I would forever know as Madok. The man I had loved most of my life. The words that were next uttered by me were ones that I never thought I would say. I’d betray him. Out loud. In front of everyone.

When I began to speak, he didn't dare turn around, but I knew he was listening.

"You're right. I didn't want to kill him. He is mymateand I have to see if he feels the same way about me. If I killed him, then I would never know. Riley knew what he was doing when he sacrificed himself for me, because he is atruehero. I am not. I am nothing."

The door slammed behind me as I stormed out of the shack. I had just admitted something that I wasn't entirely sure was even true, but with every step I took, my thoughts became more resolved. Riley died for me, and I would avenge him. I would destroy Eros, even if it was the last thing I did.

I walked past the wounded Fae outside the shack, and they watched me walk towards the seared field that held the great death of the ones who not long ago I was battling side by side with.

I turned around briefly to see if anyone had bothered to follow me when I noticed that Luke stood a few steps away from the shack with his hands on his hips watching me leave. The despair in his eyes hit me in my soul, but he nodded briefly as if what I was doing was the right thing.

It took this moment for me to truly understand what I had been trying to figure out for myself. Just like the curse, I was controlled, but in a sense maybe we all were. Controlled by our emotions. Controlled by our destinies. But there was something that we always forgot about. Our free will.

The ability to make choices for ourselves, ignoring the danger signs, ignoring that feeling deep in the pit of our stomach to turn around. Sometimes it takes a leap of stupidity to accomplish what you want. And here I am. Leaping.

Before I knew it, I was already halfway across the field. There were some small, charred bones of the beasts we had fought today and remnants of blood-stained clothes that made it out of the blaze. The metallic stench of death wafted through the air, whirling around me softly. A sweet caress of what would become of me.

I felt a considerable gust of wind behind me that made me halt my walking. Even over the stench of the battlefield, I could pick up onhisteakwood scent.

"Well, looks like you figured out which side you belong to," Evander spoke low and seductively as I heard the crunch of his footsteps approach me from behind.

I sighed, "Maybe I have."

I felt the touch of his hand on my forearm as he gripped it slightly, stepping closer to my back and pressing his chest against my frame. The singe of power fluttered through me at the closeness of us. A man I wasn't supposed to desire. A man who was purely evil.

"Leo is still doing the same 'Madok' things, isn't he? Always trying to be the hero. Always trying to save everyone else. See, that's the difference between him and me." I felt his warm breath on the curve of my neck as he continued. "He would let you die to save everyone else in this gods’ damned world, and I would kill everyone to saveyou."

His presence was so solid and stable that that small part of me was drawn to it. Like he was the center of my world and I couldn't help but be pulled to him. "So, what will you do, Clara Bear? Will you join me or will you rejoin your righteous crew of few?" He questioned me, but he already knew my answer.

I would go with him, despite my brain telling me this was a terrible,terribleidea.

"I will go with you, but you will not harm Le—Madok, whatever you want to call him. He is the same person. You won't hurt him," I declared.

All he did was nod and sweep his gaze over me. Lingering slightly at my lips.

"Very well. Let's go." He gripped my arm tighter, pulling me with him.

"Where are we going?" I tried pulling my arm away from him.

All he did was smile, grip my shoulders tighter, and into the sky, we went as he pumped his white feathered wings that were stained with a hinge of pink from the blood—the blood that belonged to Riley, toourpeople. And I was in the grip of the evil that had done it.

Chapter 20

Screams. All I heard were screams.

This shit is so scary. How can he do this all the time?

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