Page 83 of All I Desire

Chapter Twenty-Two

MATTHEW

The day after the party,I go to the tacky mansion to say goodbye to Mother. Chad’s already gone, thank God, having caught a private jet back to New York or hell or whatever rock he’s crawling back under.

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Mother says as she opens the door.

As usual, her husband—my stepfather—is on the phone, working on some business deal. He scurries away, never one to deal with her wrath.

“Hello, Mother. Nice to see you, too.”

“I can’t believe you punched your brother.” She’s wearing a deep blue muumuu and is weighted with gold jewelry. She’s in thick, black glasses today and they match her hair. She jangles as she turns toward the kitchen.

I follow her. “I can’t believe you let him get away with the shit he did in high school.”

In the kitchen, she turns to me and shrugs. “Boys will be boys.”

I gape at her. “No. What Chad did to Natalia was abuse. And probably rape.”

Mother winces.

“And you enabled it, didn’t you? You allowed him to act like a little, arrogant jerk because he was your baby boy. You enabled him and let him leave here without facing any kind of consequences.”

I’ve never spoken to Mother in this kind of harsh tone before. Our relationship’s always been frosty, and I’ve always held her at arm’s length. All of the old, simmering rage over her leaving Hailey and me comes roaring back. I’m shaking, I’m so furious.

Mother begins to cry. I can’t tell if she’s doing it for effect or if the tears are real.

“I would have never brought Natalia here if I’d known about her past with Chad. I had no reason to think they knew each other. And the way you acted toward her. Jesus, Mother. How could you?”

She sniffles. “Ever since he was born prematurely, I’ve always bent over backwards to protect Chad.”

“No shit,” I mutter.

We stand in the kitchen, a tense awkwardness between us. “I just came to say goodbye. Look, I know things have been tense between us for years. I’m not anticipating an explanation or an apology for years past. That ship has sailed. But if Natalia’s going to be in my life…”

My voice fades. God, I hope she’ll be in my life. I hope she doesn’t want to break it off.

“If Natalia’s going to be in my life, and in Chloe’s life, you’re going to have to accept her. And be kind. Or at least not be rude. I thought you were awful to Yvette, but man, that was nothing compared to how you behaved yesterday with Natalia.”

Mother looks up at me. “I haven’t been the best mother to you and Hailey. Or to Chad. But I’ve tried to be a good grandmother to Chloe, in the hopes of making it up to you.”

I’ll begrudgingly admit that she is a pretty solid grandma. “Then be polite to Natalia for Chloe’s sake, okay? So we can all get along. Don’t treat Natalia like you treated Yvette, okay?”

She nods, haltingly, and sniffles. I bend down and kiss her on the cheek, hoping to God that everything’s going to work out with all of us.

---