Page 61 of Inked Beasts

“I don’t have any talents,” I scoff.

“What about your organizational skills, and the beautifully detailed wedding celebrations you orchestrate?” Thorn says.

“Talents and abilities aren’t the same thing.” It’s possible that the wine Thorn has paired with each course is having a bit of a depressive effect on me, but it could also be the thought that’s been in the back of my mind since we sat down: I may never celebrate Christmas with these men again, not like this. Even if I manage to remain friends with them after I move back to Atlanta—if I move back to Atlanta—things will never be the same.

LEXY

Kai’s been watching me closely, and I wait for him to jump in and argue, because he rarely passes up an opportunity, but he remains quiet, his eyes looking … troubled, if I had to label what I see there.

“You are very talented,” Gage says, reaching for my hand this time and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Would anyone like more to drink?” Thorn asks, rising from his chair. “I’m going to open another bottle of the red.”

I shake my head. “I’d better stop. In fact, I’m not sure I can eat another bite either. Who wants more ham?” Both Kai and Gage reach for the small slices that remain on my plate.

I’m always amazed how much these three men can put away. As kids, Kai and Thorn in particular were picky eaters, even with their mom’s great cooking, but their appetites have definitely grown. I suppose it takes a lot to fuel bodies that look like theirs.

“I don’t suppose you want to go out for New Year’s?” Kai says after swallowing a big bite, just as Thorn returns with a fresh bottle of wine.

“What will you be doing?” I ask.

“Whateveryouwant to do,” Gage says.

“We usually spend it on the Strip. They close it down to traffic. There are fireworks and all sorts of madness. It’s pretty wild,” Kai says.

“Sounds like it.”

“We can stay in, if you’d prefer,” Thorn says. “And there can still be all sorts of madness.” He flashes a wicked grin, letting me know exactly what kind of wild activities he’s suggesting.

They’re aiming to make New Year’s plans with me, and I’m aiming to go to my mom’s and make plans for how to break up with them. It feels cruel not to tell them how I’m feeling about things, but I don’t want to put a dark mood on this nice dinner.

The holiday season definitely isn’t the time for talking about heavy stuff. There’ll be plenty of time for that in the new year, after I figure out exactly what to say to them. If, that is, I can figure out how to end things without also ending our friendship in the process.

“I think staying in would be best,” I tell Thorn, “but I don’t want to keep you from your usual plans.”

Gage has stood to clear plates, and he bends to kiss the top of my head. “You’re funny sometimes.” He says this as if I’ve said something very silly.

“I know you said you’re full, but do you have room for hot chocolate?” Thorn asks. As I start to shake my head, he adds, “Peppermint hot chocolate, with whipped cream and dark chocolate chips?”

“Ooh, I guess I can find some room for that.” Knowing Thorn, the drink will not come from a little packet, and the cream will probably be freshly whipped.

Kai and Gage clear away the plates and platters and won’t let me help. Instead, I’m instructed to relax in the living room. Soft holiday instrumentals are playing, and the white lights on Thorn’s small tree are twinkling in the dimly-lit room.

I close my eyes for a beat, and seal this night into my memory. I’m warm, extremely well fed, and with three of the people who are most important to me. And I may never have this particular moment again.

The drink turns out to be even more creamy and decadent than I imagined, and I know it tastes even better since I’m enjoying it while surrounded by my three men, Thorn and Gage on either side of me on the sofa, Kai just to the side in a chair.

“We’ll miss you while you’re gone,” Thorn says.

I swallow a gulp of the drink—and the lump in my throat. “I’m sure the time will pass quickly. It’s just a week. Will you have some time off over the holiday?” I ask Thorn.

“Most of Christmas Day. I might go in, since you won’t be here.”

“Will your parents be hosting the family as usual?”

“They will.” He slides his hand behind my back, pulling me a little closer. “They’ll miss you being here, too.”

“Please give them my very best wishes. I sent them a card and a little gift.”

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