Page 17 of No Regrets

Sophie’s voice was sympathetic. “That’s the operator in you. You’re used to fixing things, making things right, on your terms. Kelly’s not an op.”

He couldn’t help but smile weakly. She’d nailed it.

“That obvious, huh?” He looked up at her.

“Dex, I’m surrounded by operators every day. You all want to work the problem. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Just look at it this way. Kelly needs to work this problem, however long that might take.”

“That’s the part I’m going to struggle with. I’m not really the patient type.”

“If you really care about her, you’ll have to be.”

What choice did he have? He loved her, he would give her the space she needed, then when she asked, he would be right by her side every step of the way.

DEX LEFT WESTSIDE AND headed back home. Parked in his driveway, he leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes. How could so much change within a few days? What the fuck was he going to do if they busted him down a rank or two? He’d given his everything to become a SEAL. A Lieutenant Commander. Years of training and pushing himself way past his limits. Long deployments. Too many missions to count. It’s what he lived for, and he wasn’t anywhere near ready to stop yet.

He absently waved at the kid delivering the free paper as he went inside his house. Exhaustion was setting in, physically and mentally; he was drained. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he climbed into the hammock on the back deck. His body craved rest. Their last op had been grueling enough, with minimal down time and sleep. Then he'd come back and spun up again. Beyond tired, his mind was reeling.

Physical pain he could handle. Hell, the training they did meant it barely registered. He could handle everything the Navy threw at him, and he did, time and time again. People knew his name, his reputation preceding him. Yeah, he was aware some regarded him as the cocky, confident SEAL team leader. He was still human. That tough guy had crumbled today. For the second time in his life, he felt totally helpless, and he despised that feeling.

The first time helplessness hit him was when his mom died. He’d had Kelly, his best friend, to help him through it. With her, he could lay that armor down anytime. She always broke through the team leader stoicism. For her, he wasn’t afraid to let his guard down, be vulnerable. Not being able to see her? Christ, it felt like his right arm had been cut off. It hurt like hell.

God, he was in love with her. He’d always loved her, but now he was in love. Totally. Overwhelmingly. Why did it take something like this to happen to realize what he had? How damn lucky he was that she chose him? He’d taken what they had for granted. Not intentionally maybe, but she’d always been there, and he’d assumed she always would be. That confident side of him making assumptions. Well, that confidence had taken a huge hit these last couple of days.

All of Bravo team was dead. They all said goodbye to the people they cared about, never to see them again. He knew the names of everyone on that team and had met some of their families. Now they were gone. The finality of that hit home.

They hadn’t been invincible, and neither was he. So easily, it could have been his team, and him. It was time to stop taking what he had for granted. Everything can change in an instant and if ever there was a wake-up call, this was it.

If only he could see her...he needed to see her. The alpha-male, primal tier-one operator in him, wanted to go back to Westside, force his way into her room, take away her pain, protect her, and never let her out of his damn sight again. Like Sophie said, he wanted to fix it. He sighed. That wouldn’t be smart. Climbing out of the hammock he sought another beer.

CHAPTER FOUR

“Good morning, Kelly, did you manage to get some sleep?” Sophie held out a coffee. No hospital crap but a proper coffee from the stand down the street.

“Some.” She accepted the coffee gratefully. “Thanks, Sophie.”

“That’s good. I want to check you over, OK?”

Kelly nodded, sipping her drink as she watched Sophie peel back bandages and inspect the wounds. She’d been moved from the ER to a private room and Sophie had been allowed to remain as her doctor at her request when Kelly had freaked out at the thought of having anyone else touch her.

“It’s only been a few days, but they’re healing nicely. Give it a week, most of these bandages should be able to come off.” Sophie smiled encouragingly.

Following her meltdown in front of the mirror, Sophie had persuaded Kelly to let her help her to take a bath. Afterwards, with Sophie’s support, she’d insisted on going before the mirror again, but this time Sophie had stood with her, talking through her injuries. It had been tough, but surprisingly she’d held herself together.

“Kelly, I know you don’t want to talk about anything yet, but the Navy is insisting on a debrief. I gather the situation is a little time-sensitive, and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold them off.”

“I understand. Probably better to get it over with.” The last thing she wanted was to relive it all to people she barely knew, but there was no way out of it. This was standard procedure, and she understood the need to gather all information.

“I’ll have them do it here, and I will be in the room if you like. That way I can put a stop to it if it gets too much.”

“Whatever you think is best.” Kelly sipped her coffee. She didn’t care. Nothing mattered any more.

“Dexter has been asking after you. He checks in with me every day and is desperate to come and see you.”

At the sound of his name, tears welled, threatening to roll down her cheeks. She swallowed them down, shaking her head. “No. Not yet.”

He couldn’t see her in this state. Weak, dirty, damaged. She loved him too much. He deserved so much more than she could give him now. There was no taking back what happened in Daram. She was not the same woman.

“OK.” Sophie finished her exam, pulling off her gloves. “I’m arranging for someone to come and talk to you. Her name is Claire.”

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