Page 18 of No Regrets

“A shrink?” Great. Another stranger to talk to.

“I prefer the word therapist. You need to talk to someone, Kelly. It’s important. Part of the recovery process. The first step to moving on.”

Kelly shrugged. Move on? Yeah right, how do you move on from what she’d been through? It haunted her every minute of every day. Lazir’s face above hers as he drove into her. The smell of him, the feel of his body on top of her. They were kidding themselves if they thought she would ever move on from this.

“I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice. But as your doctor and as your friend, I’m asking you to give this a try. I know Claire very well, and I think you’ll be surprised.”

She nodded. No strength to argue. It was obvious she wouldn’t win anyway.

“You’ve not mentioned family or friends. I know you said no visitors but is there anyone I can call for you? Someone to be here with you. Parents?”

Kelly shook her head. “No. There all gone now.” Dex and the Navy had been her family. But now she couldn’t face them. She swallowed, feeling very much alone and scared. There was nothing left. Her life as she knew it was over.

DEX GLIDED THOUGH THE waves, his strong arms cutting through the water with ease. When going through BUD/S, there was no choice other than to make the water your friend. You got up close and personal with the ocean in the worst possible way. The result, the water felt like home. It was familiar, comforting and right now, keeping him busy. Not used to having this much time on his hands, he was thinking way too much, and it sucked.

It had been a week of checking in with Sophie regularly. Each time he hoped Kelly would change her mind and let him visit. This morning he’d gone back to Westside for the fourth time. Once again, he had been stopped from going in.

“Dex, she’s not ready. I told you I would call you if she changes her mind.” Sophie had been firm.

“When will that be? I need to talk to her.”

“This isn’t about what you need. It’s about what Kelly needs.”

Sophie wouldn’t even tell him what room she was in. With the security at the hospital there was no chance of roaming the halls trying to find her.

“I get that. Damn, Sophie, we need each other. We always have. This shouldn’t be any different. When things get rough, we lean on each other.”

Sophie put her hands on her hips, clearly getting a little frustrated with him.

“Dex, I respect you a great deal. But there is no leaning on Kelly right now and probably won’t be for a long time. If she chooses to see you, I will let you know. You need to accept that. I’m not sure what you are expecting here, or what’s going on with you, but if you can’t understand that then you are not the man I thought you were.”

Dex had left before he made things worse. Neither Kelly nor Sophie had any idea about the review, and it wasn't like he could tell Sophie about it.

Walking slowly out of the water, he looked up to see Ryan standing on his back deck.

“Hey, just wanted to make sure you were still alive. You’ve been ditching my calls and texts.” Ryan handed him his towel.

“You know the rules, Ryan. I’m not meant to have any contact with you until after the hearing. You shouldn’t be here.” But, man, it was good to see him. This man was his brother in all but blood.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. “And since when were you such a rule follower?”

“Since my career is hanging by a thread.” Slinging the towel over the back of the chair, he sighed. “Do you want a beer?”

Ryan grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.”

Pulling on a t-shirt, Dex grabbed two beers from the kitchen, going back out to the deck where Ryan had made himself comfortable.

“They’re still talking to the whole team. Have you spoken to them yet?” Ryan took his beer.

“Yeah, we’ve had a few conversations. Pretty sure we’ll be having some more. How about you?”

“Yep. Same. Not sure what else I can say. We go over and over the same thing.”

“So long as you told the truth, that’s all that matters. How are the guys?”

“Concerned, but they’re good. We’re doing PT and running training drills for the new guys. You know how we love doing that.”

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